I DO try to understand. At my age, I have more reason to hope for an afterlife than you do . But I have to listen to what makes sense to me. I think the spiritualism that Bill alluded to, and that appears to reside to some degree in all of us, feeds into this need to believe that there is a force greater than ourselves. In fact, most of us, including me, believes that. I'm just not sure that that 'force' has blue eyes and nordic features and is watching every move that I make. Especially the last part . In any case, you seem to be taking a somewhat 'softer' stance on the absoluteness of your religious beliefs. I'm not saying that there is no God, I'm just saying that I don't BELIEVE that there is one.

Will I ever 'see the light'? No, I won't. I'm an old man with lots of life experiences. It never made sense before and it still doesn't (to me). I grew up in a home where neither parent showed even an inkling of interest in religion (but they did love Basie and Ellington and Billie and Sarah and Ella). As a high school principal in Wash., DC, my mother went to church occasionally but I never saw anything even remotely religious (or even spiritual) about her. My father was pretty much a carbon copy of me (but wittier). If there really is a Heaven, I doubt seriously if either of them made it. Wherever they went, I'll likely be joining them.

To me, choosing religion over logic, reason, scientific evidence, and plain old common sense, is very akin to choosing (as your primary instrument) an arranger over a Steinway grand. You can fake being a good musician or you can BE a good musician. The arranger (God) can do all the work for you, or the Steinway (your brain) can force you to make some decisions for yourself. Each approach is legitimate but one will always work better for some people than others.

BTW, nothing 'pithy' about a dissertation as long as this one .

chas