Chas, thank you.
I meant by not being atheist that I am open the possibility that there is actually something. Who knows. I too love watching Ancient Aliens . I also read Chariots Of The Gods by Erich Von Daniken. One of my favorite books is 2001: A Space Odyssey by Stanley Kubrick.

There are many reasons of which I can't follow religion. But I need just this one. In all big religions I have to love god first and the most. More than my kids, more than my whole family . And I fail right away. And what kind of god asks such a thing? It is sick. According to The Bible he did ask Abraham to kill Isak. And as a good Jew Abraham was he obeyed. And as a such a good god as he is he stepped in and saved the boy. What a boy-scout.
A true story: My brother was 6 when I was born. And me being always the way I am (adorable and gorgeous as a little boy can be ) all attention was on me. And of course no 6 years old can deal with that after all being there all by himself and enjoying family spoiling him. He had a brilliant idea that he told my mom. He said that he need all of the family to love him the most and he will love me with all of his heart.
Well , according to all these religions books our almighty and all powerful god has same kind of thinking as a 6 years old boy. And we are ok with that which just again degrade us as human beings.
My brother grew up to be a brilliant man and is still my best friend.