Originally posted by Scottyee:
Was Mr. Page an actual MC of the Shreveport Municipal Auditorium, or is he merely a fictional character? For whatever reason, I didn't develop much empathy for him, as your song told nothing more about him other than the fact he was the MC of the Shreveport Municipal Auditorium where all the legendary Country superstars got their start. I kept waiting for your song (lyrics) to reveal MORE about this guy, perhaps something profound in the 'last line' of the song.
Thanks Scott, this is something I am fishing for. But I am not looking for 'empathy' for Mr. Page. There is no need for empathy. I would ask "Do you LIKE Mr. Page?" Not "Do you have empathy for Mr. Page." Because again, there's no need to have empathy. "Likeability" is what I was envisioning. (I probably am saying same thing you are.)
As I said in a post above, another version, I was building Mr. Page up more. The other direction was to create a song with this cool Mr. Page and how I feel humbled that this cool senior citizen came into my life. I have another version with verses to build on this... building up senior citizens through Mr. Page. He's a cool guy, he's older 'n dirt, he knows a lot of stuff, I like him. And he made a positive impact on my life. (In the song.)
The problem is twofold. First, what is the "right" way. Right way meaning most commercial. Because this is potentially a commercial song. I said potentially... it's one in a million even if the song is the best song ever.
Second, it is going to be very hard indeed, and maybe even impossible to build on history and Mr. Page's character and impact on the singer... and keep it under 4 minutes and preferably, under 3:40. Those are self-imposed guidelines. (This version is 3:35.
The other thing I have wondered about this song is say heck with it, make it a 4:20 song and say everything I want to say. I use David Ball's smash hit "Riding With Private Malone" as my yardstick for story songs in contemporary country music. That song is over 400 words and I think, it's 4:20. A great song and a huge hit. But it's certainly not the norm.
I am ALWAYS trying to say more with less. But it's very hard to do.
Thanks again, Scott. If anyone else has a comment, ye or nay, please do. I've already spent about a hundred hours on writing this song. No exaggeration. But I have to move and move fast, there is an opportunity for me locally and possibly regionally that's been presented to me.
Oh yeah... yes, Mr. Page is a real person and the event (Mr. Page and I and the Municipal)... that really happened.
In fact, just last night, I happened to turn the t.v. on PBS and who was on the screen? Mr. Page! True! I couldn't believe it. A show about the early days of radio in Louisiana --
Making Waves (LPB) .
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Me Bill
Yamaha PSR2000
[This message has been edited by SemiLiveMusic (edited 08-09-2005).]
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