Upon advice from my cardiologist I decided to curtail my performance activity. Yep, after more years than I would like to remember, I'm making a concerted effort to cut back by a significant margin. Consequently, during the past two months I reluctantly told more than a dozen activities directors that this would be my last year with them. They understood, wished me well, and said they hoped they could get me to come back for some special occasions.

Today, I performed at an adult day care center where I have been performing monthly for the past five years. Many of the folks there have been at the facility since I started, but there are always a few new faces.

At the end of my performance I told the AD that the Christmas party would be my last job. She almost broke into tears. She said "I know why you will no longer be here, and I knew this day was coming. But, it doesn't make it any easier." At this point there were tears in her eyes, she kissed me on the cheek and said "I'll let you tell the clients when you come back for the Christmas party."

Several individuals came up while I was packing my equipment and said how they loved my voice, a comment that I've heard many times over the years. What I find amazing is that no one, regardless of how well you play the keyboard, and regardless of which brand you play, has ever come up and said anything about the keyboard playing or sounds--not once. Granted, I'm not the worlds greatest player, but I can do some neat stuff with the keyboard.

Bottom line: For those of us that sing, and sing well, our vocals are the primary instrument--the keyboard is secondary at best. It doesn't seem to make a bit of difference which keyboard you play. No one seems to pay much attention to the keyboard when you're singing.

When I left the building the AD said to me "I won't say goodbye until I really know you're gone. I hope you will change your mind. We all love you." Anyone that plays the nursing home, assisted living, retirement community circuit knows exactly what I'm talking about. The outpouring of love from these individuals is the greatest complement of all.

Cheers,

Gary

Gary. Nice article, I enjoyed reading. Unknowingly we all make a difference to someone everyday.

[This message has been edited by Graham UK (edited 11-06-2009).]

i went thru the same thing new years eve 2006, due to heart and cancer. i miss playing(sort of) but after close to 3 years of just recovering, i'm very happy living my new life. it's amazing how many people
surround you with love in situations like this. there is no money, fame or standing ovations that can compare to the love. i wish you all the best and enjoy your new life.
dave

My Mum used to say to me, "The best thing you can do in life, is look after the old and the very young...the ones in the middle can usually look after themselves, and won't appreciate you as much as the other two."

You are are lucky, Gary, to be blessed with the talent and ability to make people happy with your music, and I'm sure you got it back ten-fold.

Many people go through life, without ever knowing what that feeling is, and, you have had many great years of reaping the rewards.

I've decided to take this winter off, and just enjoy life at a much less hectic pace...and already, I feel terrific, because making the decision was the hardest part.

Thanks for sharing your feelings...I can sure identify with them.

Gary, I get your drift... and you are spot on, it's true. I, like you, have been flabbergasted by some comments made to me. Sometimes I wonder if they have the right guy but... in the end, when you realize they really are talking about YOU, it certainly helps!

Gary,
What a way to go, it is something you can not buy. No it is not the best voice or the greatest keyboard, it’s the performer who gives the people what they want and it is not always just the music. When a musician plays straight from the heart we can feel it – and when they deal with people in the same way they can feel it. They are part of you and you are part of them. It was never just a job for you Gary, was it?

Gary no trophies, just appreciation – and I appreciate your posts and I appreciate the kind of person that you are, well done.

Stay well, John C.

I too realise what you're getting at in your post Gary, and you truly must be a special guy when you perform, but at this time I'd like to point out something you said as well:

Audiences (generally speaking) listen to Vocals first.

Something I'm happy to say I've always realised (despite how dim I can be in most things in life...lol )

Gary, nice to hear such a heart warming story with all the bad news we generally hear on a daily basis.

Good story Gary. Some bring joy when the arrive, some when they leave. You brought joy BOTH ways

That is a beautiful story, Gary. Just love it!

Well at least you can afford to cut back when your body is telling you. That's great. And at least, since you do love to play, you are cutting back significantly but not completely.

As you get older, it does get a bit tiring reaching down for that keyboard and lifting those speakers.

It's great that you moved so many people! Now you deserve to kick back. What are you going to do with your time?

Beakybird

Gary...
You and Zuki are most likely the hardest workin' men in the NH business. (Of course Zuki is just a "kid" compared to you )The accolades are well deserved and sincere.

Between the physical problems, especially your splitting hands, and all the time you spend helping folks online and on the phone...I never could figure out how you found the time to do all the jobs you have been doing.

I don't get the comments about my voice that you get...cuz, well... I don't have your voice. Mostly they just talk about how good looking I am.

Thanks for the report...and good luck in your semi-retirement.

Eddie

Gary,
I DO know exactly how you feel. I've never done anything as rewarding as playing at Nursing Homes. Unfortunately I can't do much of it now, as I'm working every night, but I still get out to a few, for me more than them.
Also to back up what you said, just tonight I played a song where I really felt like I picked my tail off on a couple of rides. Then I took a break and as I walked by the first table, a lady said "you are a wonderful singer". I wanted to say "I play good too and doesn't my new keyboard sound good" but of course I just smiled and said thank you so much.
What a great business to be in, huh?
Don

Very moving. Nearly all of us 'seasoned' citizens can relate. I made the decision to only play once a week when I resumed gigging, and I won't violate that. It's still fun, I still feel involved, but it still leaves me time to enjoy other things. You are soooooo lucky to have another great love (besides family) in your life (sailing) and that is so important during this kind of transition. The absolute worse cases of 'post employment depression' are among those who have no other interests (and won't pursue any).

Good luck with your new 'schedule change'. Now get back there on that PSR-help desk .

chas

Gary how are your hands doing? I have the same or similar problem and if you would care to email me and let me know your latest treatments, what works what doesn't.
qqqwq at hotmail
thanks
Mike

[This message has been edited by mikeathome1 (edited 11-07-2009).]

Thanks everyone for the wonderful complements. I sincerely hope to spend more time sailing, working on some projects around the house, and this January my wife and I are heading south for a four-week trip, which will include the Shreveport Jam. Next year's schedule is about half of my 2009 schedule, and I fully intend to keep it that way.

As for my hands, after spending $7,000 out of pocket with 14 doctors and getting nowhere, I got very lucky. While performing at a nearby retirement community earlier this year a resident asked why I was wearing a white cotton glove on my right hand. This was at the end of the performance and by that time a slight trickle of blood had penetrated the glove. He asked if he could look at my hand, I removed the glove and he said "My wife's hands looked just like that until she began taking vitamin D. After three weeks on vitamin D it went away and never came back."

While at the time I thought this was not MY problem, my loving wife browbeat me into taking vitamin D three times a day. Within a month my hands were completely healed. Keep in mind that at one point a hand surgeon said if the fingertips got any worse he was seriously considering amputation of at least three fingertips.

Ironically, I had never been tested for vitamin levels--EVER! As it turns out, even after taking three pills a day my vitamin D level was still borderline low at 30. Now I take five pills a day and it remains at 50.

While vitamin D, also called the sunshine vitamin, is normally absorbed through the skin by exposure to sunlight, as we age the process is not very effective. It's also not effective when we live in northern climates where most of the time our skin is covered with clothing during the colder months, and sunblock during summer.

Thanks again everyone, and I hope to see many of you in Shreveport.

Gary

Gary, you are an inspiration to us all. You have entertained people for years and your honest and knowledgeable advise is second to none.

I agree that a good voice really helps me stand out in the crowd and I realize my playing ability only makes my situation all the betrer. Thanks for your advice and support all of these years. Keep it up. Good luck and God blees.

How much or what size vitamin D should I take, do you have a specific brand?

Mike,

I take five of the 1,000 International Unit tablets daily, which I purchase at BJ's Wholesale Club. They're very inexpensive and the results, at least for me, have been excellent.

Gary

I'm on the vitamin D too...I take two 1000 IU tablets a day, plus, I also take 1000 mg Vitamin C (time release) twice a day.

I haven't had a cold or flu in about 10 years, or more.

My Doc says I wouldn't have got along so well after the surgery but that my immune system was in such good shape.

You are what you eat.

Good to see you found the cure, Gary...I know you were pretty concerned about your hands.

I can only imagine how relieved you are.

Ian

Thanks Gary. I went out and bought some today.

And I'm on my way to Costco as soon as the store opens. One thing I've always heard is that you can't OD on vitimans, as the body simply discards any excess it can't use. My wife has been bugging me for years to take vitamin supplements anyway, since I'm not a big fruit and veggie eater. Thanks for the tip and reminder, Gary.

chas

Be careful taking Vitamin A in large doses...10,000 IU a day is usually enough for most people...too much Vitamin A can be toxic, especially if you have liver disease.

I take two natural source Halibut Liver Oil capsules every day...each has 5,000 IU of Vitamin A, and 500 IU of Vitamin D...I also take a separate 1000 IU tablet of Vitamin D twice a day.

One of my Martial Arts instructors was (still is, actually) a doctor who believed in an on-going Vitamin regimen to guard against diseases and/or poor health.

This is what I take every day...check with your own doctor before taking any vitamins, as they might interfere with any medications.

Two 1000 mg Vitamin C tablets (time release)...one in morning, one at bedtime.

Two Halibut Liver Oil Capsules...same times as C.

Two 1000 IU Vitamin D...same as above.

One Vitamin E Capsule 400 IU...(D-alpha)...be especially careful with E if you are on blood thinners or blood pressure meds.

One Calcium Magnesium Tablet, that also contains 25 mg Zinc...Zinc is good for the prostate....Calcium is absorbed much better when combined with Magnesium.

One Vitamin B 50-Complex.

I also drink two large glasses of Welch's 100% Pure Grape Juice (the purple stuff) every day...the grape seed extract (Welch's is nearly the only brand that has it) is good for circulation and also the prostate.

Some Vitamins, like A can be toxic...some like E, can interfere with meds, so it's best to consult a doctor familiar with vitamins...a lot of them are not...they get very little training in nutrition.

I learned that my bowel problem was due to the stress, and life style conditions, that occurred whilst looking after my uncle for three years...he had Alzheimer's, and I was the only caregiver.

My doc told me that it was because of my otherwise strong immune system, the Martial Arts training, and, the fact that I didn't smoke or drink, that I was able to survive a very dangerous and life-threatening situation.

So it's my opinion, and my doctor's, that Vitamins supplements are good, and my regimen works for me, but not for everyone...be safe, and consult your doctor first.

By the way, the cost of the vitamins I take works out to about $2.00/day...pretty cheap insurance.

[This message has been edited by ianmcnll (edited 11-10-2009).]

If you Google Vitamin D Levels you'll find lots of great information about studies that have recently been done on this. Among the best took place at the Johns Hopkins Hospital.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/08/080811195629.htm

Good Luck,

Gary

Hey there, Gary... another reason to move to the Sunshine State (Fla).

Congrats on your retirement experience and especially on the vitamin D discovery. Wow, what a find! You were due for a break... now stay healthy, you old goat!

Glenn
(another old goat)

Thanks Glenn,

I've been trying to get my wife to move to Florida for 25 years--she refuses to budge from the Peoples Republic of Maryland. Must have something to do with the kids and grandson living here.

Cheers,

Gary

Congrats, Gary. Respect and appreciation from those you work for is a major deal. Well earned, friend.

BTW, the "fellow writer"/college prof in me says I should let you know that "Complement" in your headline should have been "Compliment".

Russ

[This message has been edited by captain Russ (edited 11-09-2009).]

Must have something? It's probably everything...

chas ... don't bet on that ... as I understand it, there are some vitamins that can be quite harmful in overdose ... just like buying a kb, CHECK IT OUT first ...
t.

You hit the nail on the head, Gar ...

I have more often been complimented about my voice than my playing ... I don't think I play BAD, but I also don't think there is anything remarkable about my playing ... my solos are always right around the basic chord progression ... But I try to use my voice as the lead instrument as you say, and it most often results in compliments about the vocals ...

Funny thing, playing a cocktail reception for a wedding on Friday night, I did an instrument medley of bossas and a woman passed by and told me that it really sounded 'pretty' ... there was no word after 'pretty' so I guess she didn't mean 'pretty bad' ... and if someone is going to say something about my playing, there no doubt are a lot worse things than "pretty" ...
t.