Hi Mark, you have some good chops for sure. As for the other stuff your feeling, I feel your pain bro. All I can really say is that you just got to LOVE music. I'm happy when my calendar is full of gigs and I get down when it's not, but the thing is, I love playing so much that I keep on going no matter what. Take a break if you need to, find some other interests. Enjoy yourself, life is short!