All I can say now is, Craig....... GET SOME HELP!

Whatever dosage you are on, either halve it or double it, whatever you are taking right now isn't helping.

Perhaps you've been watching Tony Blair and George Bush - when caught out in a bald faced lie, just keep denying it...... and attack the people who call you out.

Seriously, talk to a professional........
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An arranger is just a tool. What matters is what you build with it..!