During my 22 years keeping adolescents in our house I learned much from it. Brendan came here from a probation hostel and continuet to steal when he stole from us (small amounts) we found it hard, we were challenged by it and tried all the usual things to get him to stop, eg lectures, exhortations, recovery programmes. In desperation I asked the person who asked us to keep Brendan for help. He said there are no real consequences to his stealing, I was astonished as he had been beaten jailed etc and I said this but I was advised that these things were not consequences they were punishments !! and I was also advised that Brendan stole because he was not loved and when he was Physically beaten for stealing he knew he was not loved. So thus informed and with some further growth on my part (and my wife's part also) we continued.Some time later Brendan Took my Van (music van -- mitsubishi L300 almost new ) and crashed. I held him as he lay on the ground and I told him that he was more important to me the any piece of tin or gold. Brendan never stole again. Basically we allowed him to feel the consequences of his action and if we had punished him his attention would have been taken to the punishment. He felt the consequences and he felt loved - love is the most powerfull thing I know but it is hard to use it at times. Anger can make us love or fear.This and many more things happened in our home. Pierce In Ireland.