Today at 5:15 am at my train station in New York, I was assaulted by another passenger on my 5:22 train who took offence when I simply tapped his car with my door when exiting my vehicle. The tap was so slight, I didn't even look at my car or his. I didn't even know anyone was in the car next to me until he started honking his horn like an animal. I started walking away from my car and he bolted out of his car, checked his car then charged me.

Before I could apologize, he pushed me, I stumbled then almost fell to the ground, my backpack flew 6 feet away. When I rebalanced and started standing upright, he charged a second time this time he was cocking his right arm for a punch....that was his second mistake.

I had no choice but to defend myself and sadly I must say that a fight and struggle ensued which I am very embarrased about. I hurt this man. I broke his nose and his face was bloody. He tried to wrestle me to the ground, but I side stepped his attempt and insticts just took over and I started pummelling this man about 30 years old, 5ft 11in. I'm a 49 yo, 6ft, 225lbs, peace loving man.

Finally, he quit and other commuters broke up the fight. I walked to my train and this nut case got in his car and drove away.

My hands are all swollen and beaten up..I can't make a fist. When I got to work ( which I absolutely had to do ), I phone the police and gave them a report. I now have to go there after work to press charges.

I can't explain how depressed I am about this. I hate New York! Please Lord, get me out of this hell hole to a kinder, gentler place!!!

Wow, Sorry to hear this happened to you. Bigger cities can be a rough place to live. You did the right thing by not fighting until he assaulted you first. This way it clears you of any legalities and falls under self defense.

I myself have been in situations where I've had to defend myself from hot heads who love nothing more than to pick fights with people. However, my situation is different. I have to be very careful in I'm ever in a fist fight with someone. I've obtained several black belts over the years in a several styles of martial arts, and I was a kickboxer for 7 years too. I have to be careful not to use (excessive) force when defending myself. The laws can help people like me, and also go the other way.

I hope things get better for you, and I hope you're able to get this guy and press charges Again you did the right thing. Also I wonder how he'll feel when he realizes that a guy nearly 20 years older than he beat the living snot out of him

Squeak

Kbrkr....man I feel your pain, It's a shame
that people just can't be civil anymore to each other.....I have to tell ya, it's not like that down here...NY has changed sooooo
much since I used to live in the area that I don't even want to go back to visit...good
luck and bail out if you can....

Sadly, NY does not have a lock on being a dangerous place. I have a conceal/carry license, and have had to stop a potential robbery and an attempted assault here in the "friendly" South. A sad commentary on the state of the world.

Every year, on the patio where I play, I have to break-up several altercations between either drunks or a drunk and a server. The biggest problems I have is with people who claim to be important (sports and political figures). Generally, I just distract them until a manager gets to the patio, but not always.

I'm GLAD you're OK!

Russ

Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of folks like that everywhere you go. And, if you think New York are bad, you've obviously never visited Baltimore or Washington, DC. Statistically, it's safer to live in New York City that either Baltimore or Washington. And like Russ, there are some places you play where you have to pack iron in order to just drive through the neighborhood. Another reason I don't do the bar-rooms and nite clubs anymore. Hell, just give me an old fashioned Senior Center in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week and I'm happy as a clam.

Cheers,

Gary

You handled it just right.
Around here, nobody fights anymore, they just pull out a gun and shoot you.
The old joke about checking for guns at the nightclub door, and issuing you one if you don't have one, is just about true.
DonM

kbrkr...
Sorry to hear about your misfortune.
Just out of curiousity, what happens state side when a juvenile assaults someone?
Up here in Canucklehead Land, we've got this nonsense called the "Young Offenders Act" whereby they can't be identified, for fear it may scar them for life, never mind the poor victims.
These &&%**'s get a slap on the wrist and the reason for their situation is often put as "Well..they're troubled and they need understanding, the poor things".
Canada really needs to get it's sh*t together on dealing with assailants and thugs, particularly the young ones who know how to work the system.

Lemme buy ya a drink kbrkr...then at least we can drown our sorrows together.

------------------
...shboom

kbrkr .... I am glad you weren't injured more than you are ... I hate to hear about stuff like that ... but don't blame it on your location ... it's PEOPLE, and the fact that we as a society have lost so much respect for each other ...
I wish you the best ...
t.

West Coast people are pretty chilled

You'll like the pace in Portland. Seriously, check us out!

Went to NYC for 4 days. Hated it myself. Funny considering I came to the US from a place of almost 10 million people. I've been too accustomed to Portland myself.

Early 90s it was not that great (people were pretty close minded), I thought it was awful, but now I'm loving it.

kbrkr .... Just heard about our next door neighbors who went to Fla for a couple of months to get away from the li'l rhody winter ... they're walking down the street (I know they are on the east coast, but not sure of the city) and all of a sudden she gets knocked over and someone steals her purse ... As I said ... it's not the location, it's the PEOPLE !!!!
t.

Thats why I always pack an accordion.

Pull that baby out, start squeezin, and watch them take off!

In general, I think civility and respect in this Country have deteriorated tremendously. There seems to be very little respect for human life anymore. In New York, we experienced a huge spike in civility just after 9/11, but since, there seems to be more anger and bitterness.

Anyone have an idea why this is?

Al

In general, I think civility and respect in this Country have deteriorated tremendously. There seems to be very little respect for human life anymore. In New York, we experienced a huge spike in civility just after 9/11, but since, there seems to be more anger and bitterness.

Anyone have an idea why this is?

Al

kbrkr .... just look around ... tv shows, commercials, video games, ALL include subtle to outright 'in your face' disrespect for other people and/or their possesions ... As a society we literally teach a lack of respect for anyone including parents, teachers, peace officers, etc., etc., etc. ..... beginning with small children, we desensitize humanity to the point that no one or no thing means anything of importance ...
t.

Bravo Tony...excellent analyses...there is no respect for authority...do we blame the teachers or the parents??? How about we start to blame the CENSERS maybe they will start to do the job of blocking all of the crap that slops up the airways and corrupts the morals of our youth today more than it did 25-50 years ago...I seem to remember that
when I was young, respect was everything along with your word of honor....what ever
happened to those days of yesteryear...

Ditto!

Gary

I too am sorry you had to experience such a thing. This is a troubled world for sure. I would try to move to a safer location. It is not a good environment NYC.. I live in a small town in NJ.. close to PA I like it.. People treat each other better than other towns I've lived in closer to the city.. Whenever people are too close to each other instead of being closer mentally they goe further apart. We were never neant to live so close to others. Their is a need for privacy and space.. Also the other important factors mentioned about TV and the media they are working very hard to corrupt the minds of people all for material gain. This is taking it's toll on society. Although no one will admit this it is happening.. Those who make millions in the movie industry are doing it at the cost of currupting peoples minds. They simply do not care as long as they get rich.. The ultimate authority God and what he stands for is being thrown away.. For Devilish ways...which has taken the front seat in the world. That is why people don't care about each other.. I am truly sorry you experienced a tramatic thing as that..

I know I'm one of the younger members, but when I was a child growing up (respect) was a big issue. You didn't back talk your parents, curse someone out on the streets ect. Even as I've gotten older I've seen respect go down the crapper. The whole world just got itself in a damn hurry, and no one has time for anything anymore. Both parents are now working because they BOTH want careers and kids are being left to be raised by sitters, daycare, ect.

I find that many homes today lack discipline. I strongly believe that children today are about 95% a product of their environment. Hows a child to grow up acting right, when the children are being raised by kids themselves.

Society has just gone down hill and fast too. It's a completely me, me, me attitude now. Parents don't want to accept responsibility for their kids anymore. Here's a good example of where I live. I live in a really nice condo complex, but damn the lack of respect these kids have here is mind blowing. I got cursed out by a 12 year old (using language even I wouldn't use) just because I told him to get off my car. The little punk was sitting on the hood of my car talking to his friends who were also all over my car. The kids are terrible! They just don't have any respect for anyone anymore. You call their parents and they tell you to go to hell, or they curse you out too just because you said something to their child to begin with (even if their child is wrong). Just yesterday my wife was on the playground with my daughter and there was a 4 years old child out there with no supervison. The oldest child out there was 6 years old, and not ONE parent in site. Again the kids are left to raise eachother today.

Squeak

"Bad news makes good copy"...1000 safe plane landings don't make the news, but one incident does....sensational television about crooks, prostitutes, and sitcoms starring people who play pretty pathetic characters (think the entire cast of Sinefeld)make people process information and view life as it is presented in the media.

"Feel good" television and movies don't do as well over time as disaster films, police dramas, etc. Even comedic entertainment presents "slice of life" situations that most people would never encounter...(paranoia, pettiness, dishonesty, etc).

The ability to do graphics which are extremely realistic, bbut not likely also present sensational situations which are entertaining, but don't really represent the way things are in real life.


There are some really interesting content analysis studies which track the use of language and incidents and compare the ratio to what happens in real life...it's scary.

200 plus channels constitute a massive amount of entertainment which skues attitudes and perceptions.In a sense, we are becoming what we watch.

Increasingly, the challenge is to separate
entertainment from reality.

Russ

The problem is there is nothing to measure behavior against. At least when the 10 commandments were posted where people could read them and think, it was something to measure against, and "absolute" if you will. I know a lot of you will disagree, but when the Bible was thrown out of the schools and replaced with the next "politically correct" thing year after year, the kids don't have a clue about how to act because the people TELLING them how to act don't have a clue how to act themselves!

And when a school says YOU, the parent can not discipline your kid or it's abuse, and the kid KNOWS it, you have lost the right to raise them the right way, IMHO. A switch never killed me, but I am sure it saved me from GETTING killed a few times!

Am I the only one who thinks you should still be there beating him?

On the other hand you should have checked and apologised before he got out, I believe that walking away sparked the fuse.

Usual disclaimer, I am not giving any sort of advice, it is just my opinion, and I agree with everyone here about rise in violence and such. I simply don't like to being physically charged when no harm is done.

Trident, I didn't even know he was in the car until I walked away and he started honking his horn, got out and ran after me.

I keep replaying this scenario in my head, and I don't know what I could have done differently with this nitwit. I'm a pretty passive man, but when attacked I defend myself. I try to teach my children to talk first and be physical as a last resort.

Al

Al,
I am sorry if I offended you. Just saying that "you replayed the scene in your head" shows someone who thinks first before taking any action.
You do the right thing with your children, and you don't need me to confirm it.
Be well, I hope this nose bleeder is the last moron you meet in your life.

Oh Trident!, no offense taken at all. Actually, I appreciate your point of view. Thanks for taking the time to particpate in the discussion.

Regards,
Al

I thought it appropriate to tell what happened to my wife and I over the weekend:

As most of you know, we live here in beautiful Hilton Head, SC which has a relatively low crime rate and fantastic weather (especially now). And I have to admit, much of Hilton Head is securely behind "plantations", and yes that means the plantations of old still exist but they are now gated regimes with private guards. Which makes us a little overconfident until...

This past Sunday my wife and I went to a local public park where other families were enjoying a sunny day. My wife and I casually parked our Honda CRV in a parking lot about 4:30pm and went for a 30 minute stroll on the beach. When we got back, we found that the passenger side window was smashed and her purse and cellphone were stolen. The police called it a "smash-and-grab"... nothing else was taken but my wife's closest stuff. The cops got great fingerprints since the car was freshly washed, as if that'll do any good.

This put us through 48 hours of hell, as we frantically contacted our bank to report the stolen credit cards (they had already been used by the time we got home) and began listing everything the thieves now had access to since they got her debit cards, ID and keys. We've had to change the house locks, checking accounts, replace my wife's driver's license, change regime security codes, stop the cellphone service and replace the cellphone. We can't use our credit cards until replacements come now. My wife still has a lot of work ahead just replacing all the phone numbers and addresses in her Daytimer. The theives got away with $100 cash but that was the least of our worries.

The car should be fixed by this Friday amazingly (only the glass and trim were damaged - no paint/body damage), and we are close to secure again after two days of panic. But we'll be far more wary of public parks, even in broad daylight in the plain view of everyone. I guess we'll stay behind our security gates next time we want to walk the beach.

Me too! My Subaru Outback was broken into in front of our house,in a busy subdivision WITH THE ALARM SET...several knives, an umbrella, a tool kit and a bag with cables and mikes were stolen. The alarm never went off...it's at the dealer now for a check-out.

How sad,

Russ

Yeah ditto - my car alarm never went off and now we're going to have that checked out too.