Wow - last night was one for the textbooks.
I was invited to accompany a drummer/singer at a steady Thursday nite very close to home. It was understood that it was "his" gig (his words) and we began the first Thursday in January.

Slowly, I began to realize that he can't do the whole night vocally, and his repertoire is no where NEAR complete enough to cover this room, so the load fell more on MY shoulders to pace the room and such.

It itself, that wasn't so bad, but he takes liberties with time, ( I need to tell him when breaks are over etc ) and repeats his favorite "few" songs because of his lack of repertoire. AhhhhhhhhhGGGGGG !

Last night, we hit an all time low - He walks in and informs me that he "forgot" his bass drum. He only brings a Bass and snare as it is !!!!!!!! He even blamed it on his wife somehow !!!!
Now, I'm expected to carry the load even more, and his snarin' is not blending with the cyber-drummer that I have come to accept. I was pissed. ( NOT drunk, for my pals across the pond !)

I had contacted the owner of this place a few months before I got his call and it was definitely on my prospect list. Now, I'm faced with the decision too bow out gracefully and hope that the management offers me a solo night. Or go through a personal hell each night as an underpaid/overtaxed partner in a so-so duo.

What to do .... what to do......

Here's my real question for you ethics professors out there:

My initial reaction is to confront him IN FRONT of the management to let my feelings out. That way, he doesn't think I'm going behind his back to snake him out of work.
The trouble with that is - the boss really doesn't need to know all the interpersonal stuff that goes on ...... all he cares about is the cash register. (Which has been singin' loudly with MY customers that frequent the place now) That might be embarrasing toi the drummer - maybe he doesn't deserve that. I'm still thinking of possible repurcussions.

The second option is to simply give notice - be polite and tell him I want something different. Walk away from the date and hope that the crowd misses me so the management asks me in for a different night.

Third:
Maybe I should just sit him down and TRY to get through to him. Tell him what I need and expect in a partnership and HOPE that he might be able to pacify my needs for one night a week. I really don't need him. He sings OK, but most of the stuff is tunes I already do. the drums add NOTHING ( in fact last night, it was a distraction !) and I really am mush more comfortabe as a soloist. Our roots are different, our styles are different and if he WAS able to call all the tunes all night ......... we would't please the crowd that comes in to see me.

I know this sounds like a "me, me, me" rant, but I want some advice. Give me your views, and don't sugar coat anything ... this is me you're talking to, remember? I need it straight from the hip.
Thanx, in advance

UD

Tell him the gig is not for you and quit....but before you go tell the Owner "its been nice workng for you ..if you ever need me [as a single] give me a call..."
Dave you've been doing this long enough.. you know the game....good luck....if ya cant be happy it ain't worth it, theres plenty of other gigs! Argggg sidemen!

Dave
IMO tell this guy it's just not working for you and bow out if he asks why then go further, if the "boss" asks why then go further.

I think you will cut your own throat to become known as one of the two in that crappy duo.

I do not think you can win by going to the boss....he doesn't want to know that crap, nor really is it his biz anyway. That's a no win situation,the drummer will bad mouth you to everyone saying you tried to steal the gig from him, the boss will off you both for being more hassle than you're worth.

I think if you tell the boss anything it should just be that a duo does not work for you, so that's why you won't be performing with the other guy again, you're a solo act and should he ever need someone else to keep you in mind.
Terry

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jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html

Dave, I agree with DNJ. I think you have to quit, especially if you've come this far and haven't solved the "problem" yet. A word to the management as or after you've left would, IMHO, be better than before. Good managers will realize your worth and know how to handle the problem. Otherwise, let it go. Your followers will go with you to your new Thursday gig.

Okay . . . you were INVITED to accompany him on HIS gig. Up to the moment you are still a PROSPECT. Alright, you are pacing and leading the room, but that doesn't alter the fact that it's HIS gig. Yes, it's nice to have a regular stint close to home, but (and I think you know this already) just walk away from this one, keep on plugging management - it's only fair competition (they've seen and heard what you can do, and if this drummer guy is as duff as you paint him, he'll be gonzo pretty soon).

I have gigs where owners have tried to pair me up with somebody - I tell them if you want to hire a duo for something like $400/night then my "partner" has to work for free because $400/night is what it costs for me to train and inevitably carry the partner.

Take the gig solo any way you can - your "partner" is a leech and will likely pull even stupider stunts if allowed.

Dave. I agree with the others. If this gig is the drummer/singer's gig, then 'bowing out' is really the 'only' solution, especially since it appears that there may be far to many resentments from you about this guy for things to ever improve substantially.

The 'good' thing about this experience, is that the management got the opportunity to see & hear 'you', which puts you in the "spotlight" for a possible solo gig consideration on another night, or perhaps a future replacement for that drummer's spot. I suggest that, only after you've bowed out with the drummer/singer, that you then, later on, offer up your services & solo availability to management. Good luck. - Scott

Option 2.
DonM

Agree on Option 2.
Eddie

Dave,

Are you entertaining the thought of ever working with this guy again?

To save the relationship, if there is one, it's professional to just bow out. However, the question is: Will he really know why you bowed out? Should Dave tell him in an honest from the heart discussion so this guy truly understands he needs to modify his behavior to work in this business? I struggle with this all the time. I always ask myself, Why am I the only one that always confronts these people and tries to correct their behavior.

Anyway, it all boils down to your relationship with this guy. If he is a lifelong friend and business acquaintenance and you value his friendship, you owe it to him to correct his behavior. If he's just a recent acquaintenance, then quit and move on.

One more thing, the longer you wait, the harder it gets. Do it now!!!!

Al