I'm usually a rock as well (and a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries), and very uncomfortable regarding what to say. But I would suggest visiting her and just be there, even if you say nothing. Try to walk a mile in her moccasins; how would you feel if that were you and no one came to visit. Doctors and nurses are just doing there job, she needs family and friends, just to stand by.
Starkeeper