As you say, this is just a rough demo, and the song itself is written and performed in a very heartfelt way. It expresses a lot of things that most of us feel, so the premise of the song is very valid and is just what is required if a song is to appeal to, for want of a better word, the masses.

I think you have what's known as a "lived-in" voice, you have texture, which I think will record very well in a professional studio.

I agree with Bill in Dayton's comments re. arrangement, construction, levels and such, but you do have the basics down solid here. I wish you much success in your endeavours.