Wow! Where to start?

First thing is, the bassline is playing a 1 to 4 pattern, not 1 to 5. That should be a C to G line, not C to F (no F in the chord of Cmin!).

Then there's no parts in it other than a drum part and a bass part. And don't get me started about how stiff the percussion is. Where are the fills? Intros, Endings, Break/fills?

Look, I'm sorry, but there it is. The PROOF for my original position. It may be easy to DO, but close to impossible to get RIGHT.

Sorry.