Larry, I think this is pretty good, indeed. I don't think it's Grade A lyrically. Good hook but the verses are not killer. Not bad, though. I've heard a couple of your songs now, very Beatleish.

If you're serious about hoping for commercial success, a few things.

Read every book you can possibly read on songwriting. Write a hundred songs before you think you have a clue. Consider getting your songs professionally critiqued. And realize that you have to write songs that are in a style that enjoys demand.

Good luck, and get ready for constant rejection.