Steve,
I wish it were as simple as black and white, but unfortunatly, expecially in show biz - there is LOTS of gray. I have no problem bowing out of this job if my expectations fall short, but I will not snake him out of the job. if i resign, and then am OFFERED the job - I remain lily white in all respects. I am tryting to find a better solution ... one that keeps him working , and keeps me (and the audience) happy.
With regard to it being "his" gig ...
It's only his till it's over, and in THIS business, that can be ANY time. Nothing is solid. We have to earn our keep with every performance. I will sleep like a log tonight with my decision to handle this as stated.