Dave. I agree with the others. If this gig is the drummer/singer's gig, then 'bowing out' is really the 'only' solution, especially since it appears that there may be far to many resentments from you about this guy for things to ever improve substantially.

The 'good' thing about this experience, is that the management got the opportunity to see & hear 'you', which puts you in the "spotlight" for a possible solo gig consideration on another night, or perhaps a future replacement for that drummer's spot. I suggest that, only after you've bowed out with the drummer/singer, that you then, later on, offer up your services & solo availability to management. Good luck. - Scott