Who decides what is abusive.....?

Nigel does!

Bill, I am not accusing you of using the offensive, or rude, example that YOU posted. You were, I am sure, just using it as an example. Unfortunately, you were using it as an example of a comment you thought was 'closer, but still not abusive', and as such, tacitly approving it for general forum use.

Personally, I think it crosses the line, and many would agree with me, particularly if it was THEY that had someone say that about them.... If you still disagree, and think language of that kind is acceptable here at SZ, you are welcome to use it and discover what others would think of you. (I know you probably wouldn't, but endorsing it as fine for others to say is a bit hypocritical). I think it is perfectly fine for us to say, 'this is language I would not use, and I would not approve someone else saying it either'.

Unfortunately, forum communication is often LESS respectful than face to face communication, but I applaud Nigel's attempts to try to get us to address each other with a little respect and civility. Neither of those will curtail our ability to criticize, just our impulse to write our thoughtless first ideas down and post them with no care for how they will impact the subject.

I just don't see how raising the level of civility and politeness at this forum will put a damper on anyone's opinion (unless that person actually IS a rude, boorish lout!), and I know it would go a long way towards making this forum once again a friendly place to hang out and shoot the breeze with other people as interested in arrangers and their use as we are.