Go up to your mother, and say 'You suck, and can't cook worth a damn". You think she's going to thank you...?! You think she won't know what is abusive.....?
We all were taught (or most of us!) as kids what is right and wrong. Those rules haven't changed, just we are too lazy and inconsiderate to care. But abuse is still abuse. Just because you can take it doesn't mean you should dish it out......
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An arranger is just a tool. What matters is what you build with it..!