In appreciation of the fact that my last post may have appeared somewhat"up my own bum"
I offer the oldest musicians jokes that I can think of as a peace offering. . .

Q: "What Do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians"

A: "A Drummer"

Q: "How many musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?"

A: "I'll have to check with the union first . . ."

Q: "Which is the odd one out - a great trumpet player, a fantastic viola player or a pink elephant?"

A: "The great trumpet player as the other 2 are figments of you imagination. . ."

Q: "What do you get if you cross a Drummer with a musician?"

A: " A Bass player. . ."

Q: How do you get a violin section to play semiquavers?"

A: " Write a semibreve annotated "Solo"

Apologies to the offended