Try this one, then. This happened about six weeks ago at a NH gig. The residents in this part of the facility are at the more advanced assisted care level.
So there we are setting up and a little lady comes up and the conversation goes like this:
"Excuse me, is that your wife over there?"
"Yes, that's my lovely lady." I reply.
So the lady toddles over to my wife and says, "I hope you don't mind but I have a question for you. You won't be offended, will you?"
Taking it lightly, my wife says, "Okay, how can I help?"
Then, straight out, this little old lady asks, "Could I have sex with your husband?"
My wife, quite taken aback by this, but ever cool, says gently, "No, not today, dear."
To which the lady replies, "Well okay, but that's my room over there. I'll leave the door open if you change your mind."
So, we play the hour gig and were joking about it with one of the staff afterwards and, laughing, she said, "Oh, that must've been M*****. It's not the first time she's approached our entertainers."
Just when you think you've seen it all, eh?