Tom...
My experience with demos (tape or CD):
The entertainment directors I work for have their own prejudices toward certain types of music, even songs. If your demo has what THEY like, you may be in luck...but more often than not, I find they give such demos a very cursory listen...if they listen to them at all.
They tend to listen to demos the way we read newspapers...glance at headlines and then read into the copy of stories until they feel there is nothing else new or different about it.
Some E.D.'s tell me they are skeptical of tapes and CDs because they are very much aware they can be "doctored" to sound studio perfect.
I don't audition due to the time and effort of set ups... but I do a couple of other things.
1) I will invite a prospective client to come to a job I am playing to see the crowd reaction and interaction. Even then, I notice most don't stay long...just long enough to get an idea of how your sound and the crowd response.
2) I use flyers that contain the usual sales pitches and references to other places I play regularly. These are generated on my computer and can be customized for each prospect to reflect the genre of music they usually use.
3) Personal contact, by phone or in person is also very important. Get into their head and find out what it is they like and dislike.
In the fraternals, it is critical to get to know, not only the folks in charge, but the ones coming up the ladder who will be making the decisions in the future.
I am not adverse to playing a few freebies, if for a really good cause...as long as it is not on one of the nights that I would otherwise be booked. I did a benefit for the parents of retarded children on a Sunday afternoon that resulted in a year long contract with the club that hosted the event.
BOTTOM LINE: Nothing will sell you like the right people seeing you perform. Either they are in the position to hire you... or have the influence with someone else who does.
Eddie