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#193551 - 08/09/05 11:24 AM
Re: Would someone listen to this recording? (Paging)
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Senior Member
Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2204
Loc: Louisiana, USA
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Originally posted by Scottyee: Was Mr. Page an actual MC of the Shreveport Municipal Auditorium, or is he merely a fictional character? For whatever reason, I didn't develop much empathy for him, as your song told nothing more about him other than the fact he was the MC of the Shreveport Municipal Auditorium where all the legendary Country superstars got their start. I kept waiting for your song (lyrics) to reveal MORE about this guy, perhaps something profound in the 'last line' of the song. Thanks Scott, this is something I am fishing for. But I am not looking for 'empathy' for Mr. Page. There is no need for empathy. I would ask "Do you LIKE Mr. Page?" Not "Do you have empathy for Mr. Page." Because again, there's no need to have empathy. "Likeability" is what I was envisioning. (I probably am saying same thing you are.) As I said in a post above, another version, I was building Mr. Page up more. The other direction was to create a song with this cool Mr. Page and how I feel humbled that this cool senior citizen came into my life. I have another version with verses to build on this... building up senior citizens through Mr. Page. He's a cool guy, he's older 'n dirt, he knows a lot of stuff, I like him. And he made a positive impact on my life. (In the song.) The problem is twofold. First, what is the "right" way. Right way meaning most commercial. Because this is potentially a commercial song. I said potentially... it's one in a million even if the song is the best song ever. Second, it is going to be very hard indeed, and maybe even impossible to build on history and Mr. Page's character and impact on the singer... and keep it under 4 minutes and preferably, under 3:40. Those are self-imposed guidelines. (This version is 3:35. The other thing I have wondered about this song is say heck with it, make it a 4:20 song and say everything I want to say. I use David Ball's smash hit "Riding With Private Malone" as my yardstick for story songs in contemporary country music. That song is over 400 words and I think, it's 4:20. A great song and a huge hit. But it's certainly not the norm. I am ALWAYS trying to say more with less. But it's very hard to do. Thanks again, Scott. If anyone else has a comment, ye or nay, please do. I've already spent about a hundred hours on writing this song. No exaggeration. But I have to move and move fast, there is an opportunity for me locally and possibly regionally that's been presented to me. Oh yeah... yes, Mr. Page is a real person and the event (Mr. Page and I and the Municipal)... that really happened. In fact, just last night, I happened to turn the t.v. on PBS and who was on the screen? Mr. Page! True! I couldn't believe it. A show about the early days of radio in Louisiana -- Making Waves (LPB) . ------------------ Me Bill Yamaha PSR2000 [This message has been edited by SemiLiveMusic (edited 08-09-2005).]
_________________________
~ ~ ~ Bill
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#193555 - 08/09/05 01:01 PM
Re: Would someone listen to this recording? (Paging)
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Senior Member
Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2204
Loc: Louisiana, USA
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This is the lyric as it stands right now.
:
“PAGING MR. PAGE” ©2005 All rights reserved
I took a tour where Elvis got his start Shreveport Municipal sure played a part Thought I knew music but met a country sage My new-found friend, Mr. Page Mr. Page was the M.C. early on I learned some juicy things 'bout stars long gone Then, he said Look around, be sure to stand onstage I'd made a friend in Mr. Page
[ CHORUS: ] (I / I'd) roamed the place and (saw/seen) Hank's dressing room I could hear Mr. Page: Hey Lefty, time to sing a tune Echos of Kitty and those from Patsy, too I thought of Elvis, now, what would be his age And I wondered, back then, what was his wage I said where is the M.C. of this stage Paging Mr. Page ( 2x ) ( echo effect like hall intercom? )
[ MODULATE + 1/2 ] Such hallowed hallways, Shreveport took me back Back to the early days when Hank was catching flack Then Elvis rocked the world, the Opry turned him down We owe so much, they liked kings in this town I told my new friend, I'll be back again He said If you act right, I'll tell 'em Let ya in We made a photograph where Elvis turned to bronze And James's statue is where he always was
[ CHORUS - REPEAT ]
[ BRIDGE: ] My bus hit Nashville but I hadn't slept a wink I'd failed to ask the man, now, what will Mama think She'd surely want to know, had I asked 'bout Mr. Cash I grabbed the phone and dialed in a flash (musical riff runup)
Paging Mr. Page ( 3x ) ( vocal echo like hall intercom? )
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------------------ Me Bill Yamaha PSR2000
_________________________
~ ~ ~ Bill
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#193556 - 08/09/05 03:01 PM
Re: Would someone listen to this recording? (Paging)
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Member
Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 172
Loc: australia
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hey bill, not too bad a tune, i would look at getting a para onto this and dropping a tad at around 65 to 110hz, which should remove some of the "boomy" kick and lower bass frequencies..try to play the guitar parts yourself, even if it is on the keyboard, the pre-programmed gtr chops on the yammi get a bit repetitive and boring, not to mention "twangy"... perhaps drop a bit at say 3-4khz and boost the mid area a bit might help this..the recording of the vocal is quite good, not much to change there, mebbe add a double, or a bit of harmony over the chorus just to keep the listener interested, mebbe a delay on the chorus tag with some "am radio" eq just for fun (and it would add a little "hook")...and maybe lengthen your run into the chorus, it defines whats to come a little better, and builds a little more excitement...one last thing, do look at your panning, it can open up a song so much... this is all just my humble opinion so you can tell me to piss off if you like..just trying to help not offend cheers dennis
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#193557 - 08/09/05 03:27 PM
Re: Would someone listen to this recording? (Paging)
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Senior Member
Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2204
Loc: Louisiana, USA
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Dennis, you, nor anyone will ever make me mad with feedback on a song. I have to have it. As a songwriter, I am used to people shooting down perfectly good songs. It's very hard. As the writer, you have an opinion, sometimes a strong opinion. But usually, feedback helps. It really does. I always listen to people, even if I think they're crazy. Funny story... last week, played at a dive. A guy there, he's a terrible alcoholic and a motor mouth on top of that. I played an original song, a funny bluesy thing, that every single person I have ever played it for, they love it. He came up to me and said "Hey, uh, you need a little coaching on your songwriting. That's just plain boring." I said "It might be boring but you didn't even listen to the song, you were over there shooting pool and yakking away. It's a STORY song, you missed the hilarious hooks that everyone else thinks are funny." Which is truly how I felt because he's the first person who has ever NOT enjoyed that song and I was watching him and he wasn't listening. And on top of that, he is one of THE most obnoxious people I've ever met. People can't stand him. I'm one of the few people who don't get mad and tell him to get the hell outta my face. Someone's gonna kill this guy. Anyway, even though that song has always been well received, I never have been totally comfortable with the structure. I went back to it and definitely improved it. Thanks to the drunk. ------------------ Me Bill Yamaha PSR2000
_________________________
~ ~ ~ Bill
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