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#170023 - 10/16/05 04:56 PM
Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Member
Registered: 02/17/00
Posts: 532
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My eldest asked if she could take kick-boxing. I said "no", mainly because I could handle any more transportation duties and kickboxing does not seem essential to her education. She was very insistent, but I stood my ground. Apparently, she went kickboxing on my equipment, by precious Wavestation A/D was demolished, and my A-50 keyboard (and the stand it was on)were gone. That was not all that was damaged.
I am, for loss of a better term, heartbroken, especially over the A-50 controller(and the circumstances of its demise). It is long since out of production and there has never been a metter controller for my purposes. There are none on ebay at the moment, but I plan to check frequently. If anyone comes across a Roland A-50 midi controller for sale, please let me know.
Clif
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#170026 - 10/17/05 04:08 PM
Re: Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Member
Registered: 02/17/00
Posts: 532
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The rest of the story--well, its not over yet, and I am still struggling to understand what is going on, and am still struggling to address what she did. I need some time to put this in perspective. I have informed her than attacks on me could impair my ability to support her (e.g., pay for her college education). It seems hard for her to relate my well-being to my family's financial health. For my part, I have to deal with doubts about my parenting--still, the other four children relate well to me, and the avenger is actually doing well outside her relationship with me--so, I think I am doing ok.
I not a pro musician or even a good musician. But of the few material things I really care about, most are musical instruments. I want to replace the A-50. In the meantime, I removed two old guitars from her access.
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#170027 - 10/17/05 04:33 PM
Re: Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Senior Member
Registered: 12/01/99
Posts: 10427
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area, CA, US...
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Hi Clif, wow, what a story! Considering the fact that I've met your kids at our West Coast Synthzone gathering last year in San Jose, my curiosity has now got the best of me in trying to guess WHICH of your daughters is the culprit. Perhaps she was vying for your attention, and felt your Wavestation & A-50 as competing for your attention. Whatever the reason, I trust that you'll find suitable disciplinary resolution, as it's certainly not acceptable behavior. Perhaps Dear Abbey or Ann Landers might have some suggestions on this. Ok, so what's wrong with kickboxing? Though kickboxing may not be essential to her education, it certainly is a good fitness for both mind and body development. Clif, hope to see you at our next West Coast Jam, which I heard (from Bebop), may be possibly scheduled for Spring 2006. - Scott
_________________________
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#170029 - 10/17/05 05:52 PM
Re: Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Senior Member
Registered: 11/10/00
Posts: 2195
Loc: Catskill Mountains, NY
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We might not want to be so quick to judge here.. We don't know what other things might have happened that led up to this, and perhaps we don't need to know more anyway. We may think we're seeing the whole picture here when chances are we're not.
First, Clif, like any parent, has every right to set the limits on what his kids can and can't do, regardless of what the rest of us might think about the benefits or lack thereof of kickboxing or anything else. He also already said that his transportation duties were stretched to the limit. I know exactly how that is, being the only driver in a 4 person household and living in the sticks to boot.
Second, It isn't wrong that Clif is thinking of his material possessions, and he did say he is looking for answers to what caused the problem in the first place, and it sounds like he is questioning his parenting skills to boot. The attack for him was likely very personal, because it was on his beloved equipment. Don't discount the significance of that.
Actually, I think his reaction is probably pretty normal based on what I've experienced and learned myself for what has unfortunately been a long road for my family. It is my hope that for his family that this is a more isolated incident that is a symptom of something that can be addressed in some way that the outcome becomes positive, and that he doesn't have so long a road with this.
I am the stepfather of a very troubled ( adult ) child, hence I am raising 2 lovely granddaughters, much to my delight. The situations and events that caused this however are far from delightful. Our story doesn't have a happy ending as far as my stepdaughter is concerned, at least not to this point, and this has been going on for many years already.. but... the children are safe and seem to be rather happy, and we've all come to terms with and accepted the situation for what it is as best we can. My wife and I have both run the gamut of emotions on this and have sought out and received much professional help, so I do speak with some ( learned of course ) experience when I tell you that what you think you'll do and feel may not be reality when it hits you ( and I hope it never does ), but Dear Abby and Ann Landers probably aren't gonna be enough.
Maybe you might want to rethink this and maybe then you'll want to cut Clif some slack here... ok ? He needs nothing more than support from his friends here at the zone. If he thinks the situation warrants it, the real helpful analysis and advice should come from profesionals.
AJ
[This message has been edited by Bluezplayer (edited 10-17-2005).]
_________________________
AJ
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#170030 - 10/17/05 07:15 PM
Re: Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Senior Member
Registered: 12/01/99
Posts: 10427
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area, CA, US...
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Originally posted by Bluezplayer: First, Clif, like any parent, has every right to set the limits on what his kids can and can't do, regardless of what the rest of us might think about the benefits or lack thereof of kickboxing or anything else. Actually, I think his reaction is probably pretty normal. Maybe you might want to rethink this and maybe then you'll want to cut Clif some slack here... ok ? He needs nothing more than support from his friends here at the zone. AJ, not sure if your comments were specifically intended for me, but I certainly can fully understand Clif's reaction, as well as how he handled it. I don't claim to have answers to how to resolve it, and realize that it may point to a deeper problem. Because I know Clif personally a friend, I think he ALREADY KNOWS that he has my FULL SUPPORT. I know Clif as a loving & caring father. My comments about the Kickboxing, was more tongue n' cheek, and meant more to lighten the somber mood of the situation. Perhaps I forgot to add a smiley. - Scott
_________________________
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#170037 - 10/25/05 12:35 AM
Re: Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Senior Member
Registered: 08/22/04
Posts: 1457
Loc: Athens, Greece
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Clif, you are multi talented, a musician and a snake tamer!!
Joking aside, I would say that my opinion on the keyboard side of things, is this: Since she probably has a sort of income (allowance, coming from you maybe?) you should buy this new controller taking a percentage from her allowance. Explain her that we are all responsible for our actions and we have to pay for things we buy or intentionally destroy. Maybe that will teach her to discuss the reason behind certain decisions, instead of using brute force to take out their frustrations, or again, maybe not.
If of course she thinks that she had the right to do that, since you didn't answer yes to her demands, she won't learn anything, but surely that behaviour of hers doesn't make YOU a bad parent. Children form a personality based on parents and family ideas as well as friends' and their own ideas. I also think the kickboxing denial was only the spark...the fuel must be somewhere else.
Also, sometimes eldest kids are "forgotten" (not gettng enough attention) in favour of the youngest, and since you have many others, she had enough chances to be "forgotten". I am in no doubt that the things I say have passed your mind before, just wanted to show that you have my support.
Theodore (only child, presumably spoiled rotten, though this is not the case at all)
[This message has been edited by trident (edited 10-25-2005).]
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#170038 - 10/25/05 05:19 AM
Re: Revenge is Hers! (Anyone know of an A-50 for sale?)
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Member
Registered: 02/17/00
Posts: 532
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by trident: [b]Clif, you are . . . a snake tamer!!
I also think the kickboxing denial was only the spark...the fuel must be somewhere else.
Also, sometimes eldest kids are "forgotten" (not gettng enough attention) in favour of the youngest, and since you have many others, she had enough chances to be "forgotten". . . .
Theodore (only child, presumably spoiled rotten, though this is not the case at all)
Theodore, thanks for the support. I think you hit a few nails on the head there. As the eldest, she had her parents complete attention for two years. Then our son was born, which she found exciting (like a pet), but later probably felt usurped. Upon birth of the next girl, she announced "we don't need this baby", and I am sure she resents on some level her gradual removal from the center of her parent's universe. And, I suspect, therein lies some of the fuel you mentioned.
As far as punishment goes, I have thought of making her pay me back monetarily. But she would not be learning anything she doesn't already know. She did hurt me and I do relate to her differently now, but I am not trying to punish her. My feeling is that our relationship may be improving a little so I am taking a wait-and-see attitude.
In the meantime, your support is very much appreciated.
Clif
P.S. My A-50 is gone, I don't know if the General Music S3 Turbo that I won on ebay and paid for is coming. In the meantime, I bought an Ensoniq VFX for $200. The sounds are not at all realistic, but as a controller it does have polyphonic aftertouch, which is a feature I for some reason feel a need to explore.
[This message has been edited by Clif Anderson (edited 10-25-2005).]
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