Alright so we still have a few weeks left until 2004 but I need to say this. I just read a post the Nigle left for me on my Buting a .com synth after all, and he got me thinking. As most of you know by now or those who don't I really don't consider myself a musician too a certian point. Even though some migh say that I am. Most of you are well aware of the fact that I have a tendency to change my mind, that I don't stick with something or that I am no good at this music game. Well that is all true and I am Guilty of it I admit it freely. But here is my problem it is sticking to it. Music to me has always seem like a chore. A lot of boreing hard and in my case mind numbing tedius work. I dont seem to bae able to enjoy playing or creating music, so I give up. Instead I turn to technology for answers, whcih is not really helping me at all. I have been useing technology as an excuse in order to make me feel better. Sort of the same way as drug addicts. Just with out all the Nastyness ascoicated with them. Okay bad analogy but it's 10:15 pm so bare with me and go with it okay. Anyway back to the point I am trying too make. I have been useing technology as a drug in oreder to help me feel better and hopefully get me to be whare I want to be. only problem is I can't stick with just on item at all. If I could I would not be whare I am today. And I would be maeking music instead of gripeing.


So my goal and resolution is to buy a peice of hardware ans try and stick with it.

But it I need to start simple to see if I really can stick with something otherwise I am just spending money for no reason on something I know I will never use. Now before anyone says anything Pleas hear me out. I am going to put off buying a modualr synthesizer for a few years, I have not givein that dream up completely, but just putting it off for a while.

What it is that I do need to do is take a step back and see what I can an can not do and what I need to do in oreder to be able to commit myslef too one particular area of interest, like Music. So here is a guide line that I have come up with to help me out.

No. 1: ADMIT that I have a problem:

This I have already done! You just read BTW in case you were wondering what I was refering too.

No. 2: Learn what it is I am good at: Find my out where my strengths and weakness are and work on both of them. Strenghts mor then weakness here.

No. 3 Determine what peice of equipment would work best for me and help me utilize my talents. I.E. Keyboard, synth, groovebox sampler etc..

No. 4 Not be afraid to say I need HELP!
My biggest problem.

No. 5 Actually being able to stick with it. Actually commiting myself to makeing music, and playing it without it seeming like such a chore.

This is my own five step program so to speak. If you have anything to add please do so I an open to suggestions.