kbrkr:
Sounds to me like a bit of a dilemma. All I could suggest is an independent soundman whom you all trust. Perhaps try recording one of your gigs, maybe you already have. Then sit back and have an honest listen and critique session of what you hear. From this, the loud members might be able to grasp the “Whoa...I’m pretty loud” idea, and perhaps we should make some adjustments. Once you’ve got the instrumentation to a bearable level...take it down a notch and bring up the vocals. Too many times I’ve witnessed bands subtly cranking their individual levels and then trying to sing over them...it’s a no win situation. Our band works with a very talented individual in whom we’ve placed our complete trust. Everything runs through the front end. Our onstage amps are basically there for the people who crowd the front of the stage, and would miss what’s coming through the front end. We use in-ear monitors and can tailor, on stage, what we individually want. The front end sound, we leave up to our magician Dave. It works for us....it may not work for you. Those are just my thots....anyone else out there??
Good Luck..