"INSTEAD" of talking? With 43,000 posts (the highest) ... you certainly do more talking than anyone else. This IS a forum for conversation, after all. PLUS - most of your sonic posts are taken down, anyway.
I know you're struggling right now, and none of these struggles relate to CoVid isolation, so I will back waaaaaaay off, and let you find your way back to YOU.
Maybe by the end of May, when I take my road trip to see AJ, things will be better for you, and the "Three Amigos" can ride again .... down south I-95!