Steve:
Much improved when compared to the original. You are "on the right track" for the "clientele target audience." Best of luck with it. I hope the "jingle biz" is more profitable than the "music biz."
Actually not in the Jingle biz, I'm looking to get business for credit repair. This Radio ad being run in Los Angeles was done to bring business directly to me. I'm "The Credit Cowboy" & I want people to call me & ASK ME...........