BUT....we're starting to conflate things. It's not one or the other; read or by ear. There is no reason they have to be mutually exclusive. I believe that every musician is better served by being able to read and read fluently. They should not only be able to read standard sheets but 'fake' sheets as well. Believe me, the guys and gals coming out of Juliard and yes, even Berkelee, can both read it and fake it, especially the jazz guys. When you IMPROVISE, you ARE playing 'by ear'. It may be within a structure but it's not what's written on the sheet.
There is nothing I'd like better than to be able to read better. I truly believe that all these great players that can play anything as long as the music is in front of them but can't play 'mary had a little lamb' by ear, are either talentless OR (and most likely) victims of the teachers that trained them. For those of you that were formally trained, how many of your teachers included ear training as part of your lessons? I'm guessing less than half. Heck, I even know of teachers that actively DISCOURAGE students from playing by ear, thinking that it detracts from the formal learning regimen.
There is no question in my mind that formal training is going to produce a much more technically proficient musician. Practicing those scales (in all the keys), understanding the relationship between chords, chord recognition, theory, etc., etc., and just the discipline required to prepare for all those inevitable kidde concerts, has GOT to have it's benefits. Sure, there are always going to be the Errol Garner's and Jimmy Smiths (neither could read music), but those guys are 1 in a million. So unless you think you're also 1 in a million, you probably are not going to reach that level without a little outside assistance. JMO.
chas
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"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]