I'm not sure yet, Chas...I've gone through little slumps, but I always managed to re-interest myself in something that would draw me back in to playing.

It's not just arranger playing...I work hard at giving myself at least a tiny bit of individuality with an arranger by assembling my own styles and writing my own arrangements, but I just don't feel that satisfaction I used to feel when playing at my restaurant gig. I don't want to do these gigs anymore as it stands now.

I seemed always to get a good reaction, but at the same time, I also felt like wallpaper; it had nothing to do with using an arranger...I felt the same way when playing solo piano.

Playing the Hammond was definitely a real love of mine...I cut my teeth on the Hammond and made sort of a name for myself (medium fish....very small pond) when I played years ago in the local bands, and that is something I'm toying with at present.

Not a lot of players to work with around this area, and I don't want to do the bar scene anymore either.

I'm just thinking out loud.

It's like I need to find the joy again...the hunger...I don't know, I'm probably not making much sense.

All the surgeries I had over the past two years didn't help (three major) and I still have to be careful lifting anything over 30 lbs or so...otherwise, I'm totally healthy.

I don't think it's a self-confidence thing...it's like I feel burnt out more than anything.

Again, thinking out loud, and probably still not making sense...I don't want to take this topic off base too far either, but it is heartening to know that others like yourself (and maybe Donny?) have felt these types of feelings to some extent.

Ian