Diki, having fun isn't the issue for me. It is commitment that I couldn't make to music as my single professional focus, failure to accomplish things musically that my peers would recognize and respect and general disappointment in the lack of compensation/widespread recognition for superior jazz performances/innovations in general.
My job for a Jazz Arts support organization last night involved University level sidemen
playing traditional bebop at a charity event. We had blast. Everyone made $150.00 and was glad to get it.
Last month, I turned down a session on B-3 with a local guy who is a multiple Grammy winner in the Country field (an arrogant redneck jerk). Pay: about $1800.00 for the session and 2 points. That would probably have amounted to an additional $24-5,000.00 over the next 6 months and residuals after that.
I just need to accept the situation as it is, be thankful for what I have and the fact that I'm still working and concentrate on the things that bring me pleasure...family, teaching, charity work, contributions and successful projects completed by my company.
Not sure I deserve to be where I am, and am going to make helping others and helping as many as possible become exposed to music my primary focus.
Still won't wear a chicken hat or play music or venues I don't like.
So, THERE!
Russ