SYNTH ZONE
Visit The Bar For Casual Discussion
Topic Options
#95194 - 09/04/05 11:27 AM New original song -- "I Wish"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2189
Loc: Louisiana, USA
If you care to listen, let me know what you think of this. If people find merit in this one, I will work it up. This version is a one take guitar/vocal recording done very "raw," using the internal mic on Fostex MR-8 recorder. I think it's about 3:30.

I note a couple of phrasing mistakes, it's just a work demo.

I Wish


------------------
Bill
Yamaha PSR2000
_________________________
~ ~ ~
Bill

Top
#95195 - 09/04/05 11:43 AM Re: New original song -- "I Wish"
George V Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Sofia
That's a very nice song! Congratulations. I like it very much.
Also I think that this version (guitar and voice) is a very good one.
Regards,
George

Top
#95196 - 09/04/05 12:14 PM Re: New original song -- "I Wish"
Dnj Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43415
Loc: USA
Bill.....nice job so far ...I enjoyed the lyrics and flow of the song tells a nice story too........But I honestly felt that there needed to be a "bridge" with some different chords in the middle somwhere to break up the flow as it tends to get musicly repetitive .....
thanx for sharing your work....
hope to hear the finished product sometime also.

Top
#95197 - 09/04/05 12:26 PM Re: New original song -- "I Wish"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2189
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Dnj:
Bill.....nice job so far ...I enjoyed the lyrics and flow of the song tells a nice story too........But I honestly felt that there needed to be a "bridge" with some different chords in the middle somwhere to break up the flow as it tends to get musicly repetitive .....
thanx for sharing your work....
hope to hear the finished product sometime also.


Yeah, I use a bridge often. I didn't think it needed one but that's why I posted. I'll think about that again.

The song as written has symmetry -- first half is the grandson/son/grandpa and second half is granddaughter/daughter/grandma. So, I kinda did that on purpose. A bridge could bring it all together but that's what I did with that outro part where the grandpa sums it up. I'll have to play it a zillion times to get a better feel.

I actually had this written and finished for over a year with a totally different melody and chords. Nothing at all like this but I got to fooling around on guitar and this chord progression sounded "right." So, I re-worked the music.

It's funny how songs strike people differently. When I first wrote this, I thought "Man, this is a masterpiece." I played it for some people. Some loved it, yep. But a writer who I thought would flip out didn't. Very much surprised me. I wrote it, so what do I know, but I personally feel that this is a really good lyric that is oh, so true. Hopefully, this melody will showcase the song even better. 'Cause I really like this song. It's like a cycle of life in a song.


------------------
Bill
Yamaha PSR2000
_________________________
~ ~ ~
Bill

Top
#95198 - 09/04/05 12:32 PM Re: New original song -- "I Wish"
Dnj Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43415
Loc: USA
Good Luck Bill.....try the bridge & modulate a half key up for the last verse

Top

Moderator:  Admin 



Help keep Synth Zone Online