A good melody and lyrics indeed.
I do have some dirty peaks as well...
but not so important..
My personal opinion..( I know.. 

 )
I would after the first chapter in the song boost the song with a drum and base...
to give it more body. 
Fred
 
_________________________
Keyboards/Sound Units: Kurzweil 2600S, Roland VR-760, Acces Virus C, Roland G-800, Akai AX60, Minimoog, Machine Drum, Roland R8-M, mediastation x-76