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#81036 - 04/14/05 02:04 PM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
captain Russ Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 7285
Loc: Lexington, Ky, USA
Boy, this one hits close to home!

I used to get my feelings hurt, when someone in need requested help, I helped, and was supsequently ignored, never paid back or generally unappreciated.

Then I realized, I help people not always because they are friends, but because they are people who really need help, and I have no expectation of reciprication. I now get my satisfaction out of doing what I believe is the right thing. It makes me feel good.

I realized that I have helped numerous people multiple times, with no acknowledgement...only additional requests.
That's my choice. Real friends don't continuously impose their problems on others. I'm leaving in 10 minutes to move my 427 pound "friend" from therapy to his home using a ramp I bought for him.I took him at 11:00, dressed him and put him in a pool. Then, I returned, got him out of the pool, dressed him at put him in the car. He did some errands, called me and now I have to go to get him out of the car and into his home. I've known him for 40 years and he has never helped me or anyone else as far as I know. What started as a request to take him to the doctor after being in bed for 6 weeks is now a 3 hour trip three times a week.I've been playing his jobs at a local restaurant and letting him keep the money, and now take care of all his business affairs (taxes, car liscense, home repair, etc.)
He has a church, neighbors and three children who are never available. I'll continue because he needs me.

It may be my fault for gettig so involved, but, at this point, I don't think I have any option but to continue.

Russ

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#81037 - 04/14/05 02:45 PM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
nardoni2002 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/02
Posts: 673
Loc: malaga, spain
russ,your story really touched me,you a kind helpful generous man,i didn,t start this thread for selfish reasons,but there are certainly more generous people than me,i,m just trying to see what makes people tick,keep em coming,mike

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#81038 - 04/14/05 02:56 PM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
Tony Rome Offline
Member

Registered: 12/11/04
Posts: 1374
Loc: Cozumel Mexico
RUss...God Bless you....you do this for your friend because he needs you and you feel needed...this is the true feeling of accomplishment when you can help someone and step back and feel good inside...yes, I do get something back, a good feeling...my friends can always count on me to be there for them like family...I haven't been on this forum long but I feel as though I am
blessed with an extention of my family and close personal friends through a common sharing of music in this forum...thank you to all and hope to have the pleasure one day to meet most of you in person......
Tony Rome

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#81039 - 04/15/05 02:09 PM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
BEBOP Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/00
Posts: 3781
Loc: San Jose, California
I had a good friend once but I married her and................
Bebop
_________________________
BEBOP

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#81040 - 04/18/05 06:52 AM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
captain Russ Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 7285
Loc: Lexington, Ky, USA
Bebop..it's a REAL shame we don't live closer to each other...musical tastes...
experience...attitude...it would be GREAT.

Tony, you have a GREAT outlook on life...I REALLY respect that!

thanks for everything,

Russ

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#81041 - 04/18/05 07:33 AM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
Sheriff Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 965
Loc: Frankfurt, Hessen, Germany
Doing every time the best I can is the hardest way I'm knowing to go but for me it is the only one. You will get so much things back from all those people in need of help but you should not expect anything out of it or from them because you'll never get what you want...

Who would come to me if I could need your help? *LOL*
It's a long and expensive way from USA to Germany, you know?

I would never ask for help as long as there's any chance for me to help myself. As long as I can help myself there will be a chance that I could help any other helpless once too.

------------------
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)
_________________________
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

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#81042 - 04/18/05 11:33 AM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
BEBOP Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/00
Posts: 3781
Loc: San Jose, California
Quote:
Originally posted by captain Russ:
Bebop..it's a REAL shame we don't live closer to each other...musical tastes...
experience...attitude...it would be GREAT.

Tony, you have a GREAT outlook on life...I REALLY respect that!

thanks for everything,

Russ

HI RUSS,
I totally agree. If I could get Jann to go back to KY, I would be living there or Nashville in a hot minute. I stayed at Franklin when doing some recording at Nashville with Ray Lyall at his house and loved it. 1/2 acre manicured and landscaped lot, with ponds, patios, green everywhere, great house, big shop, garage, great neighbors, lotsa neato trees, all fenced, and the value is less the putting in a new garage at my house in San Jose.
sign me ready to move to KY or TN.
Bebop
_________________________
BEBOP

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#81043 - 04/18/05 11:38 AM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
BEBOP Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/00
Posts: 3781
Loc: San Jose, California
Quote:
Originally posted by Sheriff:
Doing every time the best I can is the hardest way I'm knowing to go but for me it is the only one. You will get so much things back from all those people in need of help but you should not expect anything out of it or from them because you'll never get what you want...

Who would come to me if I could need your help? *LOL*
It's a long and expensive way from USA to Germany, you know?

I would never ask for help as long as there's any chance for me to help myself. As long as I can help myself there will be a chance that I could help any other helpless once too.



HI SHERIF
Just let me know if you need help. As soon as you send me a ticket I will come and help you Have keyboard, will travel and help I haven't been to Frankfort since 1961 and would like to go there again. send two tickets and I will bring wife and two keyboards
Best to you and yours
Bebop
_________________________
BEBOP

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#81044 - 04/19/05 04:26 AM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
Sheriff Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 965
Loc: Frankfurt, Hessen, Germany
Quote:
Originally posted by BEBOP:
Just let me know if you need help. As soon as you send me a ticket I will come and help you

Hey that's really nice and friendly!!!
Thank you very much for your offer!

Actually I have no problems and no need of help. I'm really glad about this fact because so it's possible for me to help my friends here in Germany or my new friends in the SynthZone if they'll need (and feed ) me...

------------------
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)
_________________________
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

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#81045 - 04/19/05 04:01 PM Re: GOOD FRIENDS?
loungelyzard Offline
Member

Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 535
Loc: North Eastern Calif.
My thoughs are If you can go through life and be fortunate enough to aquire One true friend you should count yourself very lucky, One is enough if its for real, and has stood the test of time. I've been extremly fortunate I have 4, one is my wife and life long partner.

I went through the usual give give give and give some more, in my younger years, only to find each disappeared when I could no longer afford to give or had not the time to fix their personal posessions, that usually showed up at my house on my days off. I put a end to this and they just seemed to disappear. But I found a middle ground for this, the ones that were just using me, almost always worked the conversation to bring up a request of a favor, and the thanks at the end was none existant, or half hearted. The true friends always treated these things like we were doing them together as our own, like a father and son or two brothers.

I still love to help others, but I watch, and if I see someone who needs help I'll offer and see it to the end. But anyone who solicits help I'm very wary of them.

I also was a dead set don't asks anyone for help if you can find a way (anyway)to help yourself. (and I always found a way) This is not always a good policy. I finally learned that you also must allow the person you helped to be able to return the favor, if you don't you'll hurt that person's feelings.

On this and other forums I see many older mature, and mellowed a bit guys, who I think are terrific people and probably has many best friends and I'm thankful to be a small part of this select group of people.....Pose
_________________________
Support the arts
FEED a Musician
Cheers....Pose

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