Saw this on Eileen's forum. Roland posted it.

Worried about toilet paper? Do this:
https://got-paper.com/

Deane

All the stores are out of toilet paper here - absolute insanity!

Gary

toilet paper? How about eggs? We've been out of eggs for 3 days now!

Same problem in the UK. Why do these people need so much toilet roll. This virus is not well known for causing stomach upsets although apparently it can with some people.

Anyway, when I was a kid (70 years ago) we used newspaper but I could never get clean with the glossy magazines.

Alan

I'm going to Bass Pro shop and getting a catalog.
Actually our normal supply will most likely last a few weeks. Surely the toilet paper trees will be ready to harvest by then.
So far no shortage of eggs, but just in case, my wife's niece has chickens and always has eggs for sale.
My brother-in-law just sent me enough venison to last a few months if it were to come to that.
Also Taco Bell has started delivery service, and they include napkins with each order.

Those old Sweetwater catalogs will come in handy!!

The daily newspaper is a bargain at 60 cents a day..

60 CENTS ?!?!? The Providence rag up here costs $3 at a newsstand ...

My wife says you are correct...wow.. it still might be worth it..in a pinch

Since all my gigs are cancelled, I am using the opportunity to memorize all my music.

I will be cutting all my sheet music into 6" squares.

Jerryghr

I have many boxes of all music books and a many binders containing typed lyrics. Maybe time to put them on Ebay.

Speaking of toilet paper.

A man and wife are laying in bed and she asks her husband if they can afford for her to get a boob job.

The husband thinks for a minute and says yeah, we can afford it, but first I want you to try something. Every day for the next 3 months, take some toilet paper and rub it between your boobs. If they haven't grown in 3 months, then we will pay for implants.

She says well how the hell is toilet paper supposed to make my boobs grow???

He says, well it worked on your rear end!

The ancient Greeks still used stones (called “pessoi”) and fragments of ceramic (the same material as modern flower pots) to wipe. Some of these wiping relics have been discovered with people's names inscribed on them, suggesting that the Greeks would wipe their asses with the names of their enemies.

https://www.dudeproducts.com/blogs/story/the-history-of-wiping


and people have used their fingers and a bowl of water for 5000 years
...now your complaining?

Why toiletpaper?
You cant eat toliet paper can you?

One of the stupidest uses of toilet paper I ever heard was a couple who had their likeness printed on rolls of tp ... the father of the bride loved it because he was wiping his butt with his future son-in-laws face ...

I was going to order on Amazon but the description said "recycled paper". I decided not to order.

Jerryghr

That's the second good one,Jerry. We need a little levity.

Here too,
I was lucky my son brought me a six pack for my birthday haha. ( plus a present)

He bought me some for Mother’s Day , one year ( back when he had just started work) we’d had an argument over something trivial, so he bought me toilet paper just to prove I’d given him the Sh......’s.
He told the secretary at work what he’d done, and she whacked him over the head with her ruler. Haha.

Glad you appreciate the humor. With all the bad news I try not to fuel the fire.

Jerryghr

With all the hoarding of groceries and household supplies I can't help but recall the talks I had with my mother and father when I was not yet a teenager. They often spoke of the days when everyone had nothing! During WWII she had ration books for many items - families only got a limited amount of just about everything. I remember a road trip we took once and we had a blowout. No spare and no place to get one - tires were rationed too. These were the days that we grew up in. I am saddened by the sissy generation of young people today who believe they "deserve" to have all the things they want. Funny how ur parents and grandparents were able to adapt and survive and today people act as if the world is ending. I do have compassion for the people being put out of work and frankly think that is wrong. Maybe if we are lucky things will get back to normal soon.

Sorry for the rant,
Deane

As an alternative, Free Trump Towels

The reason for the toilet roll shortage is very simple.

Every time one person sneezes, 100 people s**t themselves....

Haha, good one John..

About 75% of the world's population does not use toilet paper. I did 2 years of my military duty overseas in a country that did not, it was initially a shocker to see how they HANDled it. Even some developed countries have other means of dealing with the problem, e.g. bidets(sp). My father told us stories of the outhouse and the Sears catalog ... we'll cope.
Ciao

OMG!! Haha. Leaves more for us.

if you can find any ...

Speaking of leaves--,I've been there too.

Any particular kind? autumn here. Haha

In these times,we can't be fussy. Anything but poison Ivy would do.

HOW ABOUT 10 ONES FOR A TEN.
MEL

Good point. Haha

or here

https://howmuchtoiletpaper.com/