SYNTH ZONE
Visit The Bar For Casual Discussion
Topic Options
#394792 - 10/15/14 07:56 AM O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . .
DonM Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 06/25/99
Posts: 16735
Loc: Benton, LA, USA
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." Mike replies, "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money.There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten bucks.

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample which he pours into the slot and then waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled, so he mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, deposits ten dollars, pours in the concoction and waits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop ***** with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
_________________________
DonM

Top
#394794 - 10/15/14 08:41 AM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
captain Russ Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 7285
Loc: Lexington, Ky, USA
Don's getting BETTER!


R.

Top
#394804 - 10/15/14 09:21 AM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
travlin'easy Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 15556
Loc: Forest Hill, MD USA
Old joke, Don - but still a goodie. wink

Gary cool
_________________________
PSR-S950, TC Helicon Harmony-M, Digitech VR, Samson Q7, Sennheiser E855, Custom Console, and lots of other silly stuff!

K+E=W (Knowledge Plus Experience = Wisdom.)

Top
#394809 - 10/15/14 10:11 AM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
ianmcnll Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 10606
Loc: Cape Breton Island, Canada
I haven't laughed that hard since my ex mother-in-law fell down the basement stairs.

The old ones are the best Don.

Ian
_________________________
Yamaha Tyros4, Yamaha MS-60S Powered Monitors(2), Yamaha CS-01, Yamaha TQ-5, Yamaha PSR-S775.

Top
#394821 - 10/15/14 01:14 PM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
Bill Lewis Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/12/08
Posts: 2441
Loc: Bluffton/Hilton Head SC USA
Good one !!!!
_________________________
Bill in SC --- Roland BK9 (2) Roland BK7M, Roland PK5 Pedals, Roland FP90, Roland CM30 (2), JBL Eon Ones (2) JBL 610 Monitor, Behringer Sub, EV mics, Apple iPad (2) Behringer DJ mixer

Top
#394837 - 10/15/14 09:23 PM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: Bill Lewis]
tony mads usa Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/16/02
Posts: 14376
Loc: East Greenwich RI USA
laugh2
_________________________
t. cool

Top
#394865 - 10/16/14 01:44 PM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
DanO1 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/31/01
Posts: 3602
Loc: Maryland
I had to have my prostate examined. I asked the DR to use 2 fingers, just to get a 2nd opinion.
_________________________
dansmusicgear@aol.com
https://www.reverbnation.com/danoneil?profile_view_source=profile_box

Top
#394866 - 10/16/14 01:47 PM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
DanO1 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/31/01
Posts: 3602
Loc: Maryland
I asked an arranger keyboard player what his schedule is like.

He said he would keep me in the loop.


There is a pattern being developed here.


Edited by DanO1 (10/16/14 01:48 PM)
_________________________
dansmusicgear@aol.com
https://www.reverbnation.com/danoneil?profile_view_source=profile_box

Top
#394880 - 10/16/14 06:38 PM Re: O.T. It's kinda slow around here, so . . . [Re: DonM]
cassp Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 03/21/03
Posts: 3748
Loc: Motown
Happy Birthday, Dan! I sure hope it's a good one...
_________________________
Riding on the Avenue of Time
cassp50@gmail.com

Top

Moderator:  Admin, Diki, Kerry 



Help keep Synth Zone Online