I've slacked off, but over time, I've placed lots of calls to members here. Every call has been enjoyable.

It it always surprises me how much more meaningful it is to put a voice to an email or photo.

This is certainly true of a return call I got from Fran yesterday. Early on, I dubbed UD, Donny and Fran the "terrible trio"...on the surface, just not my favorites.

Then, Uncle Dave came down to visit, and I have had several enjoyable conversations with Donny. I even "honored" Fran with a "Kentucky nugget" I sent to him via UD (read that, a thoroughbred horse turd encased in plastic).

Out of the blue, I called Fran several times
yesterday, and missed him.

His call back was GREAT! That feeling of talking to a long-time buddy immediately surfaced. I regretted having to cut the conversation short to get to a gig (it was on HIS nickel, don't you know LOL)!

My lesson to myself, first; then to others here is, when you are frustrated or in a "d***-bumping" contest with someone, just
PICK UP THE PHONE!

The internet is invaluable, but "old school" conversations add that extra dimension. As my friend Diki says, he believes that even among the most confrontational of us, we could sit down across the table and enjoy a beer, coffee...whatever, and cordial conversation.

Now, while I still won't wear a chicken hat, I'll actually smile at the silly (sometimes) rantings of three OK dudes and long-time friends, even though they are from the (UGH) NORTH (LOL)!. They may be doing things differently than I, but I'll be the first to admit, I'm in the minority. We're as different as can be, but share a common bond; now strengthened via a closer connection.

Thanks a lot, Fran. Let's keep in touch!

Russ

...
from another NORTHERN dude ...
t.

Donny , Scott, the election is over we can be civil again.

Russ,

I had breakfast with Donny and Fran in August. It was the first time I met Fran and the second time for Donny. As you found out they are both great guys. I met UD about five years ago, another great guy. I was the one who nicknamed him UD. I was at a weekend jam with Scott in San Jose. He is a friendly nice guy. I haven't met any forum member who wasn't friendly, pleasant, and helpful.

I don't know what happens to people when they get behind a computer keyboard.

Maybe someone out there can explain it to me.

Tom

btw: my keyboard is better than yours.

Tom ..........I appreciate the kudos......but I wish we had more time on our last get together to chat, and enjoy some more time together....btw your wife is lovely also & I enjoyed talking with her.
lets do it again sometime soon. I have met in person and performed with many SZ members such as Prince AJ, Gary D, Joe Ayalla, Don Mason, Hank Bowman (R.I.P.) Bill Pittman, Dan O, Tony Mads, Fran Carango, Uncle Dave, Joe Lee Richards, and it's always been a memorable experience.....I surly plan to meet many more in the future also in my travels...

I have always felt that writing is a lost art... along perhaps with reading! Nowadays, it's 'blogging' or 'tweeting' and 'texting' - such ugly words for an art form no less rich and complicated as music itself.

I have said many times, you put ANY of us in the same room together, and no matter HOW contentious our posts get, you'll find two people with FAR more in common than they have differences.

I honestly wish that more of us COULD frankly and openly discuss arrangers without getting so defensive about them. I keep saying... they are TOOLS, not your grandkids, not your wife, not your religion. They ALL have flaws. They ALL have issues. They ALL have weak points and strong. Sadly, few can post along those lines, so everything quickly devolves into a 'mine is better than yours', when it SHOULD be 'mine is as BAD as yours...! and what can we do about it?'

We all make music here, whether for fun or money (or both!), we use a common tool to do it, yet, rather than be supportive of each other, perfectly reasonable feature requests get ganged up on, because some f*-ing Japanese corporation doesn't want to do it, and agreeing that it's a reasonable request might force some of us to admit that MAYBE our 'religion' or 'grandkids' aren't QUITE as perfect as we would like them to be.

Put us in a room together, put us on the phone with each other, and nowhere NEAR the rhetoric would get spoken. Reasonable people can agree to disagree...

Except, apparently, on a forum!

Ok, now back from Disneyland. I think most people will exhibit an air of civility when meeting what amounts to a total stranger, in person. I think there are far fewer inhibitions in the invisible land of cyberspace. I think you are far more likely to see the 'real' person when shielded by the anonymity of the Internet. If a person is a flaming a-h on this board, there's a very good chance that he's going to be one in person. Of course, the same is true of those persons who are consistently 'nice'; courteous, pleasant, positive, slow to criticize, never blow their own horn, gracious in their presentation (postings), and don't feel the need to post 10 times an hour and respond to every single post. Nice people tend to be nice, whatever their environment, while a jerk is a jerk is a jerk.

Classic 'jerk' symptoms:

1. Exaggerated sense of their own talent and abilities.

2. Constantly vacillating between being helpful and hurtful (classic bi-polar behavior)

3. "mine is better than yours"

4. Excessive posting, usually meaningless and valueless, and often intended only to provoke.

5. prefers personal attacks to reasoned arguments. This is probably due to an inability to articulate a point of view.

6. Most likely to go back and "." out a previous post (after belatedly realizing it's inappropriateness).

7. Most likely to have had multiple 'bannings'.

So I hate to burst the 'peace and light' bubble, but I'm pretty sure that the 2 or 3 people I dislike on this board, I would also dislike in person. Hey, I'm nothing if not honest.

chas

PS: I have no doubt that some 'jerk' will post back and try to point out how much that profile fits me.

I agree, Chas. And you're definitely NOT a jerk!

Hope you're feeling/doing better.

Taike

------------------
Bo pen nyang.

Chas, you KNOW that you're # 1 in my book, and one of the qualities I admire in you is honesty and conviction to the point of being controversial.

That's your style and defines what you believe and how you approach life.

Folks, I have visited Chas (sadly, only once so far), and talk and correspond with him frequently. He's a renaissance man if there ever was one. As a part-time player, he can blow many full-time pros away. He is driven to succeed on many fronts; has done that and is enjoying the results in his retirement years. Without being asked, he is supporting a small education effort in Laos, works on Habitat projects and is actively involved in other causes he's not going to brag about.

I listen to him and value our interaction.
What I see is drive and the ability to have overcome lots of obstacles in life.

And he's not going to "roll over" and not try to influence critical outcomes in his many areas of interest.

His opinions and attitudes may be different from some, but they are sincere, well thought out and articulate.

He's certainly not reluctant to say what he thinks...

And that's a GOOD thing!


Russ (Mickey Mouse) Lay
(He did mention Disney, didn't he?)


[This message has been edited by captain Russ (edited 11-04-2010).]

Donny,

I do hope we can meet again especially at another jam. It's fun to listen to all the players, gleen a few helpful hints from others, and socialize. I'm sorry I missed the last jam you guys were at. Let's try again in the future. Maybe we can even get Fran there.

Diki you are right in your comments.

Tom

[This message has been edited by Tom Cavanaugh (edited 11-04-2010).]

Totally agree on the opportunity for miscommunication in email, forums, etc. and the negative affect on written communication skills. I'm retiring from my day job in January, and would love to attend a future forum jam if the opportunity arises.

Meanwhile, thanks for all the helpful info you guys provide here, even if getting to it sometimes requires sorting through a bit of BS and catfighting.

Hey Zydecat...I know you'll enjoy a jam in the future.....try to make one for sure sometime somewhere...
For me I'd still like to meet a few "selected" SZ members.....the others I can read right thru their BS & disgruntlement's they don't even know who they are and that's the sad part.. & honestly have no need for them at all.....I've made many life long good friends here and learned so many things so far & for that I am grateful to SZ.




[This message has been edited by Dnj (edited 11-04-2010).]