Hello, Ken. It's a near rhyme. In Broadway type tunes, they are quite strict, opting for perfect rhymes. In country music, especially, near rhymes are not only okay but actually encouraged.

The main thing for me about this particular phrase is that it is a very key line in the entire song. I don't want someone saying it is making fun of a dire situation. The song is intended to bring humor. The intent is to observe... don't let worry paralyze you because all it will do is make it worse... smile, pray, it's gonna be okay.

Also, it is not meant to be strictly about an aneurysm. My hope was that someone facing any serious health issue could get a smile out of it. Because humor is healthy. In fact, when I first was toying with the arrangement, I was very close to settling on a very up-tempo gospel type arrangement. Which I might still go to. A hand-clapping gospel thing. I could envision nurses in a hospital station playing this song and having a good time with it, even playing it for patients. That's the hope.

Now, reason I post is because I truly want to know how this affects people. If it offends a lot of people, I will have to consider trashing it.

Thanks Ken, I will play around with it a bit. A more perfect rhyme might be better.

[This message has been edited by SemiLiveMusic (edited 01-21-2010).]

Tony, I agree that your relative might not find it funny. But we could also infer that the song is just not going to please everyone. Does that make it unworthy? (That is the question and I don't know the answer yet.)

But we could say this about many themes. There are lots of songs with murder as the theme. Especially country music and bluegrass music. They kill people off like crazy. A widow of a man who was murdered probably would not care for a song about murder. Does that make the song unworthy?

I would bet that if I thought long enough I could even come up several humorous songs about murder. Does that make the subject taboo?

Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison" is not a funny song but it is kind of uplifting due to the uptempo feel good nature of the song. And he sings "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die." Now, that is a heavy duty line if I've ever heard one. Yet, for many, it is a key line in the song. The prisoners at Folsom Prison got off on that line in the live recording. You can hear them cheering upon his singing that line. I doubt a murder victim's widow would care for that. And it's one of the biggest songs in country music history.

Ah, the plight of a songwriter.

I found it quite good and amusing.

Great job all 'round, Bill. I've always enjoyed your vocals but this one seems even better. Cute song. To my way of thinking, it needed to sound a little more country with the backing... but that may just be the pitiful speakers on my laptop. Enjoyed.

Dave Rice

Bill ... it is a weirdly 'positive' song, showing hope for the future ... nice hook in the chorus ...
Having gotten to know you a little bit, I think this fits your sense of humor ...
And having listened to a lot of country the past year or so (Lydia has become a BIG fan), I agree with your assessment of the 'rhyme' thing ...
t.
PS ... I played it for Lydia, and she thought it had a 'positive' message also ...
She really enjoyed your singing as well ... but then she has to listen to ME most of the time ...
t.

[This message has been edited by tony mads usa (edited 01-21-2010).]

SemiLiveMusic,

Cheers, I don't have a problem with it.

Thanks

Tony

BTW the story about our relation was true, I didn't make it up, we went to see him Sunday and as he was lay in bed I questioned him on things that had happened 40 year back and could recall everything, but when we came to leave the hospital, he said come on lets all go home now and two mintues later we left him and had forgot. His short memory is gone completley.

These head bleeds are like finderprints two poeple are never damaged the same.