hi all just got back from uk,does anyone out there know the words for the alternative version of ,,are you lonesome tonight,cheers mike

Alternitive version?

I remember Donny posting a version with "alternative" lyrics, something which had to do with feeling costipated and having a lot of troubles with things like hemorroids, bladder incontinence, etc (I remember just a line, which went like "Does your tummy feel tight")
Hope that Donny can shed some light on this and help Mike to have a good laugh, like I did.


[This message has been edited by Dreamer (edited 04-28-2003).]

ELVIS PRESLEY'S SENI0R CITIZEN SONG
"Are You Lonesome Tonight?"


Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?

Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?

Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day...

When you had all your teeth and your gums?

Is your hairline receding, are your eyes growing dim?

Hysterectomy for her, and its prostate for him.

Does your back give you pain...

do your knees predict rain?

Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?




Is your blood pressure up, your cholesterol down?

Are you eating your low-fat cuisine?

All that oat bran and fruit,

Metamucil to boot, keeps you like a well-oiled machine.

If it's football, or baseball...he sure knows the score.

Yes, he knows where it's at...but forgets what it's for.

So, your gall bladder's gone, and his gout lingers on.

Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?




When you're hungry, he's not.

When you're cold, then he's hot.

Then you start that old thermostat war.

When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right.

Then you get his great symphonic snore.

He was once so romantic, and witty and smart.

How'd he turn out to be such a cranky old fart?

So don't take any bets, this is as good as it gets.

Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Me.




[This message has been edited by Dnj (edited 04-28-2003).]

Donny,
You are soooooooooooo bad!

Thanks Donny,

I'm definitely going to use this one for Wednesday's Senior Center job--they'll love it!

Gary

Its not the original one I posted but I thought it was amusing as a good alternative enjoy!

many thanks DNJ, i new that someone would have it,hopefully many others beside gary will use it,thanks again ,mike

Another variant...

Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Is your brassiere too tight?
Is your corset all falling apart?

Does the size of your chest
Make holes in your vest?
Is your spare tyre right up to your heart?

Are your stockings all laddered
and your shoes wearing thin?
Do you keep up your knickers
With a big safety pin?

Are your dentures all worn?
Do they rock when you yawn?
Then you know why....
You're Lonesome Tonight!

hi mac,,,i liked your version too ,cheers mike