Yes/No.....Pros/Cons on this question?

Only in New Year's Eve, 'cause it's a special day and it's not easy to be far from the one you like.

In general, unless it's a gig between friends (no job), I do not encourage a girlfriend to come with me (at least regularly) to my jobs. A gig is always a job, and it can be boring for somebody who's not working and knows nobody around. Anyway if she really made up her mind about coming along, it's not gonna me to stop her!

-- José.

[This message has been edited by matias (edited 01-09-2004).]

When we were young, the wives would come to NYE. Now she occasionally comes to the parish dinner dance to visit with our friends, not me. Otherwise, my wife has no desire to come to my jobs. I've had female singers who bring boyfriends or husbands, but I think mostly for security and not socialization.

Back in the 70s I'd bring my son to the job for the first set or two, but times were different and we were pretty much the hall band a mile from home. He loved it and still likes all that music I played back then; it was kind of a bonding for us.

First beer, now the women? What the hell has become of this forum, are we turning bible belt or something? LOL

My wife is welcome to come to our gigs whenever she wants. The girls make a night out of it and hang together and get drunk.

She follows up more often these days, especially after she witnessed 3 wenches (from a local Renassaince (sp) Faire Troop) on the dance floor one night pulling down each other's blouses and licking each other.

I almost fell off my piano stool, she didnt' think it was so funny. LOL

Jose,

You make many valid points that I also agree with. Part of my business is shmoozing the audience.. male & female,
on & off stage, this could create relationship problems for the jealous less understaning "other half" even though there is no harm inteneded, but that is
"what we do" in this business to make a sucessfull living.

[This message has been edited by Dnj (edited 01-09-2004).]

Years ago she did, but her mother, brothers and sisters came with her, and she had someone to sit with. Now she doesn't come except on rare occasions with a friend. The last time she came out was when Tom Cavanaugh and his wife came to visit. We had a great time. Before that, it was probably a couple of years.
I'd say that most of the time it isn't a good idea, especially with younger folks. There's the jealousy issue--all entertainers are deemed to be "fair game" for the opposite sex, at least to flirt with. You have to walk a thin line and not be rude but not encourage them either.
My wife is totally understanding and trusting, so I am very lucky. Not all wives or husbands are like that.
DonM

You guys must be kiddin'. This is a job--not a vacation. The music jobs are just like going to work anywhere else. Do you take your wife with you to the office? Do you think a surgeon takes his spouse to the operating room. "It's Ok, She's with me. She didn't have anything to do at home, so I thought she could keep me company while I do your bypass surgery." Besides, didn't you see the photo of the old man with all those young chicks--she'd kill me on the spot!

Gary

In the 20+ years I was gigg'n I don't believe my wife ever missed a performance. What a sweetheart.

She's been in and out of as many music stores as me too, although GC with all the noise has cured her of that....and just about me too.
Terry

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jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html

Reading some of these replies, it occurred to me that we may be talking of completely different venues. Most of my playing has been at private parties - weddings, banquets, etc. My wife would never think of coming to a job like that. But when we've done a few weekends in a lounge or public place, like a park she definitely supports me, along with as many friends as we an garner.

Maybe we need to be clearer on the topic. I didn't see it until I read all the replies, but there are defintely different venues being discussed.

Right on Terry. Part of my job as an entertainer is to also be a diplomat and a socialite for the places that hire me. I often meet and greet patrons and talk about music or about where to go and what to do in my area. My wife is a superb socialite and she often adds to my image and function in numerous ways, from greeting patrons on my behalf and promoting me every chance she gets to asking friends and anyone she comes into contact with to come see me play. She is always welcome whenever I perform in public and not just by me. I only restrict her from attending private functions where seating is an issue. Some places have set policies: at one of the exclusive dining clubs I play she can only come in at the end of my gig and we are allowed to dine together then - but she is still more than welcome. At my public gigs my wife often spends time with my employer having a glass of wine and talking business when she isn't representing me to the patrons. She has three college degrees and is attractive, smart, and good company so she can often hear things I never would be able to. We are a team in every respect and she is my biggest fan. I believe she is part of the reason I get rehired at my most steady gigs.