............usually the drummer gets the eye from the girls!! I usually get the queer eye!! I make it a MUST that my girlfriend is close!!

It depends on the venue, of course, but in general - we are hired to be "with" the crowd, and to share that attention with a personal attachment would be wrong. My breaks are times I need to get into the heads of my patrons .... not shmooze with my chick in another room. Too many bands have done this over the years, and along with bringing their own booze in and drinking outside on breaks ... they have created a horrible image of the "gigging" musician. This is one reason why I hate to use the word "gig". When I'm at WORK - my clients get my full attention. If a guest is invited, that's totally different, but they would always need some company so they would not be waiting for me to entertain them. It's just not fair.

To paraphrase what Gary said:
I never hung around the hospital watching my (nurse) wife work, so why is it expected that she hang in my places?

The argument about certain bars and public affairs is totally differernt, but for private parties - it's a no no. I don't even like couples in the same bands for the same reason. I had a "no dating" rule with every woman I ever performed with. I never wanted to bring "work home" with me, or take "domestic trouble" to work with me. Gheeze, you gotta be your own person sometimes, don't cha? Couples don't need to be attached at the hip.

I just think it's better for the craft if we treat it as a REAL job, and break some of the old habits that our forerunners created for us. It's a differernt world in the field of entertainment, and it's a struggle just to stay afloat sometimes. I prefer not to complicate it more by adding domestic interaction to the mix.

Anyway ....... it's not an issue at present. I'm currently flying solo these days.
Good/bad ? Still not sure about that.
Good topic though. Seems like a wide variety of opinions on this one.

This really isnt about me but a friend of mine who gigs solo with his G1000/XP60 all over South Africa and the rest of Africa. His wife is with him ALL the time .....very cute and romantic I think....and rare...

Donny, what.. are you crazy..bring your wife to club dates...maybe a girl friend[just kidding]...Usually unless it is a common family party, I would not think it wise for spouse attendance...Smoozing is a big big part in the business, and can be seen as flirtatious, especially your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend..Most of our companions know it is the nature of the job, but it can be stressful to them...I always worked with good looking gals, that my wife got to know, and seeing me flirt with them, she knows there is no problem...Besides I was in the business when I met her, and this had to be accepted, sort of a prenuptual music thingy...

I don't have a problem at all being attached at the hip to my wife of 30 years and maybe is why we're still married after 30. She's my best Pal and I prefer to spend my time with her above anyone else.

I played clubs and public gigs. Private parties, convalescent homes and the like were not my thing. The difference I see with someone visting us when we preform is that it is a job that is associated with an audience and outside attendance,the other jobs mentioned are not. Besides my wife has always liked my music and seeing my gigs too. She then used to provide valuable feedback from the audience point of view of what was working and what was not. Lastly she used to work the soundboard.

It was nice to look out and see a friendly face in some of the crowds that looked more like a lynch mob too.
Terry


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jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html



[This message has been edited by trtjazz (edited 01-10-2004).]

In the old days a friend had his wife and girl friend at a gig. That went real bad.

Ya mean a wife and only one girlfriend ?
He's not a "Player" Hahahahaha

I feel every job is different. When it is possible for my wife to come and enjoy being with those who hired me, then it's ok. Other than that, she does stay home.

My previous wife who passed away in 1994, always came with me. She was very attractive and freindly--and smart. For some reason she always sat up on stage in a high back chair when available. I was never understood why she did that. People would dance by and stare at her waiting for something to happen. We had a fantastic band, so I was not worried about jobs or approval.

We were playing a wedding in a fine hotel, and my wife sat on stage as usual.
We were doing a great job that night, if I may say so, and people would look at her expecting something --- She just smiled.

One of the guest asked me if we were available for a party he was having for his son at Lenord's in Great Neck New York. I said we were open, and the same four men would be on the job. He said, "I do not want the band unless you bring the female singer". ????? Eh?? singer???
I said sure, that will be an additional $150.
He said OK. She was booked on every job after that.
Did she have a good voice? --no, average, passable. But she was the kind of person you had to like. They asked for her before they would ask for me, the leader band.

My story, John C.

Great story....I also have played at Leonard's in Great Neck, LI. a few times and the Exclusive Swan Club also..

take care

Dnj, I also played at the Swan Club. In the next room there was an accordion player I've never forgotten. He was using a midi accordion with a sound moduel. The days of the accordion were dead but not because of this man's playing. He could play contempory music as good as any keyboard player.
Thanks for sharing, John C.