HMO-----WELL EXPLAINED !

Q. What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase "HEY MOE." It's roots go
back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered
that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he
was poked hard enough in the eyes.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I
want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer
will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan.
These doctors basically fall into two categories - those who are no
longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no
longer participating in the plan! But don't worry; the remaining doctor
who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a
half-day's drive away and has a diploma from a Third World Country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name
brand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach ache.
What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eyes.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can
handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart
transplant right in his office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $15
co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.

Q. Will health care be different in the next century?
A. No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

LOL, Ha Ha Ha, Whewwieeee! A genuine riot! And the funniest thing about it is it's TRUE. PS: Your post counterbalances some of the seriousness in a few of the other recent posts we've had Beakybird. Good timing!

Best regards,
Mike

Beaky,
Thanks for the smile.
Terry

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jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html

Larry,
That's probably the best and most accurate description of today's health care system I've seen. Having worked in the field of medicine for 15 years as Director of two major hospital's Cardio-Pulmonary Divisions, I can assure you that there are more bad doctors out there than anyone can imagine, and there are a lot of folks who fleece the system for all it's worth. I have a couple old friends coming for dinner tonight, both of whom are retired physicians--I'm definintely going to pass this along to them.

Thanks for starting my day off on a humorous note,

Gary

Well at least we don't have HMOs in Canada (yet). We just don't have any doctors. They've all emigrated to the US.

Bryan