If you've ever played in an Orchestra (I have), you may RELATE to this:

"Please don't use the depth-charge pizzicato."

"Pianissimo doesn't mean 'Drop the f*ck out.'"

"Listen to the tune, and then accompany it in a non-disgraceful fashion."

"Let's see if you can pizzicato together in a non-banjo-like way."

"It's very hard to raise money for something that sounds like this does."

"You know, there's a fine line between artistry and shit. Not that what you're doing is shit, but it's close to it"

"Imagine you're getting enough money for what you do."

"Not so bright. It sounds like 'Orpheus in His Underwear.'"

"Play short, especially if you don't know where you are."

"That was a drive-by viola solo."

"Horns, imagine that you've had a really ugly breakfast and it's about to come up."

"There is a lot of fishing for notes. I wish you would catch some."

"Strings, I know what you're thinking: 'With all this racket going on, why am I playing?' Well, sorry, there's no time for existential questions right now."

"The place where you will be shot if you come in early is the bar before 26."

"You're all wondering what speed it's going to go. Well, so am I."

And, My personal Favorite.....

"Play as if you were musicians."


Thanks to SZ Member "Raymb1" for sharing. - Scott

Some joke i know from "Klaus Wunderlich" (the german organist)


"Music playing is not difficult, only play the wright note on the wright time !!!"

Notlos
www.notlos.com

Scott....
..Thanx for the laff!!!

------------------
...shboom

As Eric Morecambe said to Andre Previn after a somewhat adjusted version of Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto "I am playing all the right notes, but not neccesarily in the right order"

i'm at the end of a 45 year search of finding
the right note to play at the right time in front of people that seem to enjoy listening
while i search for that perfect melody. 3 yrs and counting.

Play music is:

20% of inspiration
80% of transpiration

Chico