"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." - Bob Hope

"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah." - Ronald Reagan

"I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." - Albert Einstein

"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." - Marilyn Munroe

"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley

"My one regret in life is that I'm not somebody else." - Woody Allen

"Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - R. Kennedy

"She looks like she combs her hair with an egg beater." - Hedda Hopper

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

"You're not a real manager unless you've been sacked." - Malcolm Allison

"This is on me" is what Dorothy Parker wanted on her tombstone

"When you are down and out, something always turns up - usually the noses of your friends." - Orson Welles