For all my nuu yawk friends ....

A TRUE NEW YORKER

YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.

YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE
FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN,
MEXICAN OR INDIAN.

YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE
THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.

YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE
PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN
FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.

IT'S NOT 'MANHATTAN' - IT'S THE "CITY".

THERE IS NO NORTH AND SOUTH. IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." IF
YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT
OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE.... (AND EAST OR WEST IS
"CROSSTOWN"!)

YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE
CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT
TO DO IT.

YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS
LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE
FROM HERE THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOOD YOU WANT IS A "REAL" PIZZA.

YOU'RE NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED IN GOING TO TIMES SQUARE
ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE
OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.

YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.

SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.

YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING
A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.

YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS.

THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.

YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.

THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY,
EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.

THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT. (AND, IF YOU ARE A TRUE
NEW YORKER, SEND THIS TO
EVERYONE WHO IS LIKE YOU...)