Joe,
Don't be so hard on yourself. What you are feeling right now is natural. You have lost someone that has been part of your life for almost as long as you remember. It's like someone took a knife and cut off a chunk of your body! You hurt, it takes time to heal, it's not a quick process. Take advantage of the friends that are there to help you.

I don't post much, so I know you don't know me but I've been there and know the devastation you feel. I just want you to know you are not alone!

I'll keep you in my prayers, if that's okay.

Marilyn