Recently someone posted with the header: “Sad, sadder and saddest.” Here’s my own version of “sad” that I’m still thinking about a week later.

I played most of Thanksgiving day at this one nursing home where I pretty much know most of the residents by now. I was somewhat shocked to see some of the nicest persons sitting there throughout the day with NO visitors, no friends, no relatives.....nada.....coming to visit them or take them out.

It gets worse. The children (I presumed) who DID come to take a parent out or just visit had blank/no expression looks on their faces. I watched one put his father in the car. No compassion for the elderly man showing anywhere. It was just a job he had to do. I watched others. They looked like they really didn’t want to be there but felt there was a possibility they might “burn in Hell” if they didn’t go through the moves and give the appearance they cared. Those who simply visited sat there stone-faced with nothing more than a “good to see you” or a “how are you” and then a “good-bye” communicated between them. No intimacy whatever.

I’ve never seen people as detached and devoid of emotion and completely unaware of priorities as I’ve seen lately. I’ve seen them get more excited at the Black Fridays sales when the stores opened for business. Has it always been like this and I never really noticed?

The AD, who I talk to on a personal level, said it so beautifully. She said to me, one day, that they “go out of their way to make sure that each patient or resident is given personal attention and conversed with regularly throughout the day.“ And that this was “the “last stop” for them and anything they could do to make the prelude to the transition to the other side as comfortable as they could is what they will do.” And, as I recall, she said to me something like.....”What do these people have? Only their children, their memories, and the music that us musicians bring into their lives to trigger those memories?

Since that conversation, I've not been the same. I’ve become so much more aware of the importance of music as therapy in the lives of others, particularly that it’s not only soothing to the human psyche but that every song you play will bring back a good memory for someone to relive.

The paycheck has suddenly been relegated to second place!

MARK