I had a relatively long weekend to play with my favorite toy this past week - my sailboat. Yeah, I know, the keyboard is fun, but being away from the board for a four-day stretch, sailing down Chesapeake Bay and getting to see the live bands performing at the various marinas and resorts was a blast.

I spent three nights anchored up adjacent to locations that featured live bands. The first, Jellyfish Joel's at Great Oaks Marina, was really rockin' when I slipped through the narrow inlet. The adjacent harbor was jammed with about 250 boats of all sizes and descriptions, dozens of inflatable dinghys were ferrying people back and forth to the beach and the beach itself was jammed to capacity with what some on this forum refer to as the "younger audiences." The crowd consisted mainly of what I refer to as "teeny boppers," kids ranging from 18 to 35 years of age. This was the same scenario in each of the locations I visited, young people blasted out of their minds with booze and drugs to the point they had no idea what planet they were on.

The music, in every instance, was provided by live bands - NO DJs, KJs, etc... Each band had a drummer that must have taken an hour just to set up his gear. The sound systems at each venue consisted of a series of monster speakers from various manufacturers, some of which were older than me and weighed nearly as much as me. I'm still trying to determine how they managed to lift them on the stage without a crane.

I managed to sneak a peek at some of the amps and mixers, all of which were huge. I've seen smaller mixers in some major studios, and everything had a mic line running somewhere. The stages had so many wires running everywhere that it appeared as if someone dropped a massive bowl of spaghetti on the floor from a hovering helicopter. I don't know how anyone could possibly have walked across the stage without tripping and becoming hopelessly entangled in the maze of wires.

Nearly all of the bands consisted of: a drummer, 1 or more lead guitar players, bass player, rhythm guitar player, and 1 or more singers that also used some percussion instruments, shakers, sticks, tambourine, etc... I didn't see a single keyboard or portable, electric piano.

Now, I've always prided myself in my onstage and offstage appearance. However, this was definitely not the case with the bands I saw. Most were wearing shorts that appeared to have been dragged behind their van on the way to the job. They were nasty looking and ragged, and some obviously hadn't been anywhere near a wash machine for weeks. Nearly all of the band members wore T-shirts, mainly black, with various themes printed upon them, none of which had anything to do with the band.

The bands that had female vocalist provided the male attendees with eye candy. The gals were wearing bikinis that resembled two Band-Aids and a cork, they were deeply tanned, had long hair tied in the back into a ponytail and danced better than they sang.

The music at each venue was all pretty much the same - extremely loud, (I had to wear ear plugs to prevent hearing damage), singers screaming unintelligible words, lots of obscenities, and very repetitive lyrics. I think some of the songs didn't have more than a dozen words total - just a lot of repeated words. Each set lasted about 40 minutes, then the band usually put on a loud CD, MP3, etc... and let it blare for 30 minutes before they went back on stage.

The drummer(s) in every instance, had several mics on their drums. The way it sounded to me, even from a 1/4-mile away on the boat, was that the drummers didn't have to worry about wearing out the heads - every hit was a rim-shot, and I think they must have mics attached directly to the rims. Almost sounded like a dump-truck slamming the truck-gate to dislodge the mud stuck to the gate. Thankfully, the music usually ended by 12:30 at night, which may be a county ordinance so nearby residents can sleep. I guess this must be that "in your face" drums that I keep hearing about. In this case, however, the drums reverberated through your entire body.

At two locations I asked why they didn't have a synth or keyboard player in their group. Both band leaders (I assume they were the leaders) said they had them in the past, but there was really no need for them because in the overall mix they were barely audible. After hearing the bands perform, I couldn't envision a keyboard in the mix of excruciatingly, loud, ear-bleed, distortion emitted from the vast array of speakers.

Maybe I'm getting too old for this business, but from my perspective, I'm so happy that I'm no longer performing in a live band for "younger audiences." And, after witnessing, first hand, those younger audiences, I'm really not sure they would be getting much out of the music if they were not stoned and drunk out of their minds.

In just six, short weeks I'll be putting the sails up on my boat and head south to the Florida Keys and maybe the Bahamas, where I'll spend the winter months. Some of that time will be spent playing music, but most will just be enjoying the land of warmer weather, tropical breezes, sugar-white sand, turquoise colored water and swaying palm trees. While I'm there I'll check out the Tiki Bar and beach bands that play in the resort areas, and I'll check out those that perform at the various marinas and waterside restaurants along the Intra-Coastal Waterway. It should be quite interesting to see, first hand, the groups and individuals that entertain the crowds between northern Maryland and South Florida. I'll also make note of the audience composition as well. And, when I find a location that has free WI-FI I'll log in and post the results and some photos.

Cheers,

Gary