First and foremost, I hope I DO NOT end up in a nursing home. I still have that fantasy about being shot by a jealous husband at 108 while climbing out a second story bedroom window with my trousers around my ankles and a beautiful, 19-year-old gal screaming "Don't leave me--don't leave me."

If, however, for some strange reason, outlive my body parts, which is the case with most nursing home residents, and end up in an assisted living facility, I sincerely DO hope that someone walks through the door with the latest and greatest arranger keyboard. However, I want to hear someone that can sing, play and most of all, ENTERTAIN! If you can't do this, don't come into MY nursing home. Don't show up with a tablet of sorts and think you are entertaining someone--YOU'RE NOT! I'm not entertained by DJs or KJs either.

James, if you are going to slit your wrists, which ain't likely, it might take longer than you wish. They don't allow folks with your mental state to have sharp instruments in their possession.

Keep in mind that most of us who work in this facet of the entertainment biz are performers/entertainers. If we just sat there for an hour and played nothing but instrumentals we would end up in a rubber room. The people we are entertaining are not getting younger--but we sure as Hell are getting older. The vast majority of OMB entertainers I know personally, with few exceptions, are over age 60. This put them about 20 years under the average NH and assisted living resident. So, if you bump up the music you are currently performing by 10 to 20 years, and you are currently playing 50s 60s stuff, then 70s and 80s music will be what James will be slitting his wrists to.

At age 70 I'm performing late 50s, 60s, 70s and some early 80s songs for nearly all my clients--including those at private parties. They love it. They unequivocally will tell you that they will never hire a DJ, especially someone with an I-pod, Tablet, or a PC and sound system. It's not going to happen--at least not with my client base. They're not only appreciative of what a good entertainer provides for them, they are constantly recommending us to others, which helps expand our client bases. They love our ability to entertain EVERYONE in the audience, they love our vocals, they love it when we schmooze and they reward us accordingly.

Unfortunately, I'm probably not going to be alive long enough to watch James attempting to slit his wrists with an Oscar Meyer Wiener while screaming obscenities from his wheelchair at the nurse/caretaker--but it should he a hoot. However, I sincerely believe that arranger keyboards will still be around long after I've been shot in the back of the head by that jealous husband. Sure, the music will change, just as people will change their musical preferences, and who knows, maybe jazz will make a comeback. But, someone will still be pressing those black and white keys to make the music, and provide the versatility and wonderful sounds made by arranger keyboards.

So, 20 years from now if you see my boney a$$ sitting in a wheelchair with a tall, Margaretta in my hand, and a tall, blue-eyed gal taking my blood pressure, fire up that plastic-toy arranger keyboard and play some Jimmy Buffet songs for me. Give me a good rendition of A Pirate Looks at 40, Margarettaville, He Went To Paris and other songs along those lines. Oh, I hope James, Donny, Scott and the rest of you folks like those songs too--you'll be right there with me.

Cheers,

Gary