O.K. Here it is so far. I will record it Wednesday night because I left all my gear at the club.
Needless to say, this was just what rolled out of my nearly empty, tired, used-up head at 2 a.m.

Throw Your Meat On the Driveway – Don Mason 2-23-11

[prelude, no rhythm]
[1] You may think that it gets hot in your home town.
But I have some news to share with [5] you.
If you [1] open your mouth, and you're not from the [4] South,
Then [1] neighbor, you don't [5] even have a [1] clue.
[verse 1, start rhythm]
It ain't [1] hot unless the [4] statue on the [1] corner starts to sweat.
And your radiator boils but the [5] car ain't started yet.
You've [1] got a big beer gut and she [4] has a big ol' butt
But [1] cut-off jeans is as [5] dressed up as either of you [1] get.
[chorus]
There's a [4] barbeque tonight, [1] beneath the town hall light,
And we won't even need to build a [5] fire.
Oh we'll [4] drink a beer or two, and [1] slug some old home-brew,
And pick and grin til [5] we can't get no [1] higher.
You . . just . . . [4] throw your meat on the driveway,
I don't [1] care if it's possum, steak or [5] skunk.
By the [4] time it's through sizzlin', and the [1] mornin' dew is drizzlin,
we'll all be gettin' [5] over gettin' [1] drunk.
[ride or turnaround]
[verse 2:]
When the [1] bottom of your feet can't [4] stand to touch the street,
And the [1] corn on the stalk is poppin' [5] right there in the field.
When the [1] cotton has all died, and the [4] wells have all run dry,
We will [1] still find a [5] way to get us [1] by, 'cause . . .

[Repeat chorus]

Feel free to make it better, or worse, according to perspective. You'll notice I've already used all three chords.
DonM