solo pianist sent in as piano bar sub, tells the clubowner he doesn't do standards, only originals. clubowner says he doesn't care, as long as it sounds good. pianist plays first tune, then announces: That's one i wrote called
"Your Face Looks Like Somebody Stepped On It"
Next one is another original, I call it "Stuff This Up Your Armpit, Moron". He plays his ass off, but every tune has a wacko title. So it's time for his break, he goes to men's room, comes back out, sits at the bench going thru his sheet music, when a woman nearest him at the piano leans over and whispers in his ear: "Do you know your fly is open and your member is about to fall out of your pants?" The pianist replies:
"know it? I wrote it!!"

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Miami Mo