Seems like the topic has shifted from 'should I teach my child myself or get someone outside the family' to 'should a child even TAKE lessons or should they be left to learn to play by ear'. I won't go so far as to say it's a dumb question, but I think the answer is pretty obvious and the supporting evidence is pretty overwhelming. Everyone benefits from (good) instruction, I defy anyone to show me a self-taught, play-by-ear type who can play with the speed, accuracy, and agility of a trained musician, especially on piano. Does anyone in the world think that Oscar Peterson or Bill Evans or even Art Tatum would have been better off without benefit of formal training? Get real. Knowing how to read music doesn't prohibit or inhibit you from 'playing by ear' or improvisation. If anything, it enhances that capability. We all know people with rather good reading skills who can't play anything without the music. These people either have no natural talent OR have no interest in acquiring that skill OR had the kind of restrictive teaching environment that didn't allow or encourage these particular skills. Check the guys in say Jay Leno's or David Letterman's band. I'll bet they are some of the best readers in the business and I also bet that each and every one of them could 'sit in' on any session and jam with the best of them.

Always, always, choose assisted education over self-taught where a specific and complex skill is involved. No matter what 'self-taughts' may tell you (Tony has it right), they all wish they could just whip out a never-before-seen sheet of music and be able to play it, either note for note or embellished, their choice. JMO (which happens to right, in this case ).

chas